“His wife died around that time, too, and I became Stefan’s mistress,” Ilona continued, clearly trying to sound matter-of-fact and unemotional. But she still sounded embarrassed. “Those were the happiest few years of my life. I didn’t have to share him with anyone—anyone but his kingdom. But in the end, the kingdom took him away from me. His son—his only heir—died in the war, and he had to marry again.”
“Why didn’t he marry you if he loved you?”
Ilona laughed. It wasn’t a happy laugh. “Loved me? He’s never said that he loved me. Our relationship has never been an easy one. I’m pretty sure he hates me half of the time. He’s never forgiven me for sleeping with another alpha—for having children of another alpha. Of course it’s highly hypocritical of him, but you alphas can’t think rationally about such things.”
Devlin gave a clipped nod. It really was immensely difficult to fight one’s territorial instincts.
“Besides,” Ilona said quietly. “He’s the king. I’m a servant. Kings marry servants only in fairy tales, Devlin.” She bit her bottom lip hard. “I was already pregnant with you when he married a second time. It was just a political match, he said. It wouldn’t change anything, he said. But of course it did. I couldn’t be the other woman. So we ended it.” She closed her eyes, a tear falling down her cheek.
She was still very beautiful, especially for a middle-aged woman. It was no wonder the king was so fixated on her.
“Why did you give me up?” Devlin said, keeping his voice neutral. It seemed it wasn’t neutral enough, because Ilona’s face crumpled.
“I know you probably hate me for that,” she whispered. “But every mother wants the world for her child. I wanted you to grow up in his world, not mine. I didn’t want you to have to serve your own father and his legitimate children. It was the hardest decision I’ve ever made. I told myself that at least I wasn’t abandoning you. I could be near you. I could watch you grow even if I couldn’t be your mother.” She fell to her knees in front of him and grabbed his hands, looking him in the eyes desperately. “I do love you, my darling. Please never think for a moment that you weren’t loved. A good mother should never have a favorite child, but you’ve always had a special place in my heart, because you are the child of the only man I have ever loved.”
Devlin cleared his throat a little, swallowing the discomfort in it. “You should have still told me the truth,” he said stiffly.
“I wanted to,” Ilona said, her voice breaking a little. “I wanted to do it so many times, especially when I saw you hurting—when I saw how much hatred and cruelty you had to face as a boy because of your designation. But I promised your father that I’d never tell you the truth. He didn’t even want you to know that he was your father.” She squeezed his hands. “Do you remember how you found out about it?”
“I overheard it,” Devlin said, frowning. “Stefan was arguing with his sister about me. She wanted to send me away to the countryside, and he forbade her from doing it.” He’s my son, and he’ll stay here, Stefan had snapped. That was how Devlin had found out.
Ilona nodded, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. “He promised me that you would always be around so I could see you. But he also loves you very much, sweetheart.”
Devlin laughed.
“He does,” she said steadily. “It may not look like it, but he’s very proud of you. I know he’s always pushed you hard, but it was because he knew you could handle it. He loves you.”
“I’m afraid you’re delusional, ma’am,” Devlin said with a crooked smile.
She gave him a flat look. “You’re a Xeus, and yet he’s about to make you the heir to the throne,” she said. “What more proof do you need? We all know it will be a very unpopular decision.”
Devlin opened his mouth, and then closed it without saying anything. He had to admit this revelation had answered the question he’d been wondering about for decades: why had the king bothered to make his bastard a duke? He still didn’t believe that Stefan held a great deal of affection for him, but so many things now made sense in retrospect. He was a son born by Stefan’s omega. Stefan might not accept his feelings for Ilona, he might resent her for them, but alphas really were territorial creatures. The child born of one’s mate would be important to any alpha.
“You said you ended the relationship when Stefan remarried,” he stated, changing the subject to a marginally more comfortable one. “But what about what I’ve just seen?”