I stuck my hand through the gate bars and he again took my hand. I shook it and said, “Sonny Seinfeld’s the name. You’ve heard of me, Studio Producer, Director, Writer. Jerry’s third cousin on his mother’s side. I’m working on my new reality show for the networks, it’s called Finding Tomorrow’s Super Stars Today, and our first episode will be airing next week, and amigo,” I gave him my conspiratorial look, “You are the star, you and your other gate-guarding friend over there.”
I waved Pipe-Stems over and said, “You two will be in the premier episode, which is set to air worldwide.”
They looked at each other as I continued to pump Big Biceps’ hand. He said, “Well, we have been trying to get some acting gigs…”
I laughed, “Acting gigs, you two just hit the mother lode. I will make you two the biggest stars Hollywood has ever seen.”
Pipe-Stems said, “Really?”
“Word. Do you think you could open the gate so we can talk a little more about it?”
“Sure thing, Mr. Seinfeld.” They both hurried to the booth and worked the gate button.
As soon as the gate opened, I took off running for the mansion.
“You Sonofabitch!” Big Biceps yelled as he and Pipe-Stems chased after me.
I made it to the shed before a man with an AK-47 ran out of the mansion and swung a butt stroke at my head. I slid under it and banged into the shed, then rolled to my feet and reached to the small of my back for my pistol--and grabbed air. My pistol was somewhere in the long grass at the base of the shed.
I pointed behind the guy and waved as I yelled, “Mr. Berenko!” He glanced back and I caught him on the temple with a high, hard sidekick that knocked him flopping to the grass.
A shot banged and a bullet thunked into the shed by my head. Big Biceps pointed to shoot again as he charged me. I ducked around the corner of the building, looking for something to use as a weapon, and I grabbed the first thing I saw.
Big Biceps came around the corner, and his chin made a perfect target. I swung the leaf blower’s big engine into his face and his two front teeth flipped through the air like Chiclets in the sunlight. He dropped to the ground, holding his mouth and moaning.
Pipe-Stems was right behind. I jabbed the leaf blower at him and he backed off. I noticed he didn’t have a pistol, but he brandished a nasty looking collapsible baton.
Shots came from within the mansion. I feinted at Pipe-Stems and ran towards the mansion doors. I could hear yells of alarm, then automatic fire followed quickly by the loud BOOM BOOM of a shotgun, then silence, followed by more voices yelling in languages I didn’t understand.
I entered the mansion and saw two bodies on the floor. I sprinted by them and went up the stairs three at a time.
More shooting, more yells came from the second floor. I banged through the first door I came to and found myself in an empty bedroom with ornate French Doors leading onto the balcony. I jerked them open and stepped out on the balcony. Muffled yells and another muffled shotgun blast came from a room at the far end. I raced towards the shooting, still carrying the leaf blower.
The room’s French doors were open and as I got closer, I heard a strange metallic buzzing, starting low but getting steadily louder.
I stopped at the door’s edge and did a quick peek. One man worked at a fever pitch on the laptop while another barricaded the door that led into the hallway.
Another muffled BOOM came from the hallway, followed by the crack of pistols and the cries and yells of scared and angry men.
I glanced across the room at the floor and the hairs on my neck stood up. The MAVs were skittering and buzzing, their dragonfly wings picking up speed. The floor looked alive.
“Hey!” I yelled at the guy on the computer. He looked up at me in surprise, then his eyes changed and he pushed a final button.
He said in a heavy German accent, “You are too late. They haff been programmed. Los Angeles vill be an infidel ghost town, reeking of the dead.” As he finished talking, the Mavs rose from the floor in unison.
From near the front gates I heard the far away bang-bang-bang of pistols and suddenly, bullets hit all around me. John Wesley stood just inside the closed gate with a gun in each hand, shooting at me. He was a long way off but his bullets were hitting way too close.
I jumped inside the room and the MAVs hovered in formation twenty feet from me like an enormous swarm of metallic bees.
Then they started forward.
Sirens and the faint drone of helicopters sounded in the distance. The cavalry was coming but they would be too late.
The MAVs formation opened up and became more ragged as some flew faster than others. I tried to close the French doors to hold them in, but the doors were locked open. There was nothing to put over the opening and the first MAV hummed by my head and made it out into the air.
Hondo burst through the door and I yelled, “The laptop!”
Hondo butt stroked the two men trying to stop him, and then, lightning fast put the shotgun to his shoulder and blew the laptop to smithereens.