I nod. “It is. I could kill myself for not being in your life all this time. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
She sits up, swings her legs over the edge of the couch, and stands up, pulling me with her by the hand. “Come with me,” she says. “I’ve got more to show you than the view.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO – KIERA
I’m nervous, excited, afraid, and turned on as I lead Connor down the hallway towards the bottom-floor guest room.
Nervous because I’m not sure what we are yet. The excitement I still feel coming off the heated sex of last night has many question marks attached. It felt so good, how connected we all were. No jealousy or insecurities. So I’m afraid that maybe what Connor and I have together isn’t true love. Maybe it’s just true lust? Maybe we are the Dirty Ones and that’s all we’ll ever be?
But I’ll never know the difference between these two things if I don’t open myself up.
I want him forever. Connor Arlington has always felt like the man I was meant for. And even though I didn’t feel his absence all these years, it’s caught up with me now.
I feel it now and he’s holding my hand. I ache for the moments we’ve missed. I yearn for all the things I could’ve had and didn’t get. I long for him to be in my life, to grow old with me, and love me the way I love him.
The room is dark. Lit up only by the city lights outside. But it’s so beautiful. I’ve always loved my quiet life in Vermont but if there’s one thing that could drag me away from the country and the lake, it’s this. The twinkling lights of one of the world’s greatest cities.
“Come here,” Connor says, turning me towards him and sliding his hands around my waist. I slip mine up his arms. He took his suit coat off hours ago, so it’s just the soft cotton under my fingertips and the hard muscles of his arms that I feel as I gaze up at him.
“Hi,” I say, smiling, picturing what we’d look like to someone standing in the open doorway or someone outside, looking through some other wall of glass, seeing us in our moment.
Two people in a romantic embrace. In a romantic moment.
I wonder if they’re writing our story in their head the way I write those of strangers I see from afar? I wonder if we come from a tragic past filled with mystery and secrets? Or if we’ve lived the charmed life of a prince and princess? I wonder if they’ll be writing our happily ever after right now? Or if that dark, black moment is still out in front, calling us forward into the story?
I guess I lied earlier. I guess I do like the HEA and could do without the crisis.
“Hi,” Connor says. “I’ve missed you.”
“Today?”
“Not just today. All the days that came before today, Kiera.” He tucks a stray strand of hair behind my ear and leans in. My heart thumps wildly in the moment I wait. Thumping like crazy when his lips touch mine.
It’s a new kind of kiss for us. A claiming kiss. One that says, You’re mine. And I’m yours. One that speaks lifetimes of moments in this moment. A kiss that starts a new beginning and ends an old, well-buried past.
I’m writing our story in my head, I realize.
“Come with me,” Connor whispers. “I want to see you better.”
He doesn’t leave me. Doesn’t pull away and take my hand and lead me closer to the twinkling lights. He turns me a little, hides my face in the shadows as he backs me up against the window and pressed my shoulders into the glass.
I keep my eyes closed, still writing the story. Still picking and choosing just the right words to describe us. Our night. How later, when we’re done, I’ll get out my notebook and put it all down on paper so I’ll never forget how this feels.
I will capture all of it. Never forget a single moment of this night.
His fingertips slide under my long sweater and find their way to the bare skin hiding underneath. I suck in a breath of air at his cold hands, but a moment later the chill is gone and we’re warm together.
Just as I get used to that he lifts my sweater up and over my head, reminding me that it’s December. But just as quick as I think that thought, his hands are back, playing with my breasts as he continues to kiss my mouth.
It’s the most perfect kiss, I decide. So gentle. Silent, but saying everything at the same time. I wouldn’t have written it any other way.
He reaches around my back, unclasping my bra, making it loose. He slides it down my arms, taking his kisses to my neck now. I don’t know if I want to fall into him and lose myself in the feeling of baring myself to him or just start ripping his clothes off, but he takes that decision away when he drops my bra to the floor and takes a step back. Unknots his tie and pulls it through his collar while I watch.