My heart ached and more tears filled my eyes. My animal did the equivalent of pacing, unsettled at hearing him say he wanted us to leave him. For her to leave the dragon.
“What makes you think the demon king will barter with me?” I whispered, so many emotions flying at me that practicality was the only thing I could latch on to.
“Because you are everything he will want. Fierce and determined and smart, as well as incredibly beautiful. Furthermore, you’re a shifter, and he likes taking proud magical races and demeaning them. He will make a trophy of you.”
“Fantastic, yeah. That sounds amazing. What an incredible future you have chosen for me, Nyfain.”
“That isn’t your future, Finley. That is your means to an end. You’ll barter with him to get out, you will endure unwelcome treatment within your gilded cage, and you will escape and find freedom. It is within your power. That is the only way you can stay alive. Above all else, you must stay alive.”
“Why does it matter to you so much?”
His eyes grew hard. He stared at me with a set jaw. “Because I will not see another prickly rose torn out by the roots. This time, I will not take the easy road while the people I care about suffer and turn to dust. This time, if there is to be a funeral, it will be mine, and I will die happy knowing I could at least give you the chance at a better life. I couldn’t save my mother, Finley, but as the goddess looks down on me, I will save you.”
Sixteen
The next morning, I finished the notes about the book for Nyfain. After the speech he made before (once again) storming from the room, I’d decided he’d get as many write-ups as he wanted. He’d get blowjobs every day. His words had been beautiful and heart-wrenching and confusing, and his devotion had rung through the bond loud and clear. He honestly thought that the only way I would have a chance at happiness was to sign myself over to the demon king with the hopes of escape. It sounded ludicrous. The whole thing would obviously blow up in his face, but we’d cross that bridge when we came to it. Until then, I was going to brave his terrible moods and bang the living shit out of him.
Letter in hand and new trousers and blouse hugging my curves, I trekked down to the library. On the way, staff members loitered in the halls or on the landings. They turned to me as I passed, bowing, curtsying, and smiling. Jessab, the cook, stood at the bottom of the stairs and shook his fist with a smile.
“Thatta girl, eh? Give ’em what they got coming to ’em.”
“What in the goddess’s bustier are you lot doing?” Hadriel said to the loitering staff as he walked up, wearing a jacket covered in sequined flowers and a newly trimmed mustache. His bright pink velvet slippers didn’t match any part of the hideous jacket. “Don’t you have work to do? Leave Miss Finley alone.”
“Oh, look who’s a big man now suddenly, eh?” Jessab said, patting his stomach. “Go fall out a window, why don’t ya.”
“Hilarious, you backwater dish jockey.” Hadriel glared at him. “Go suck a wheel spoke.”
“You’ll have to get your dick out of it first.” Jessab turned slowly.
“Back to Miss Finley, then?” I smirked at Hadriel, heading to the library.
“Only to keep the status quo. Don’t worry, love. I haven’t suddenly gotten good at my job.”
The smile dripped off my face. “Yet they still went after you.”
“That’s because I was alone. Those types find the outliers. There aren’t many of those left in the castle. Now you see why.”
I shook my head as we walked down the hall. Doors stood open, and soft noises issued forth as people got started with their hobbies for the day.
“I can’t stand by and watch stuff like that happen,” I said. “It’s not in me.”
“The master said that in the beginning, too. The thing is…if you kill them all, the demon king just sends more. Worse ones, too. We lost a lot of people in the beginning because of people fighting back. If you have to kill, do it in secret.”
I stopped at the library door and put up a finger. “Stay here.”
“Why?”
Because I had the book and the annotations for Nyfain, and I intended to leave them in his mother’s secret book room. But I could tell no one about that room, so I settled for, “Because Nyfain gave me a secret, and I intend on keeping it.”
“How could you do that to me? You can’t just dangle something like that in front of me and not tell me the secret! I love secrets!”
“I doubt it is a secret you’d care about.”