I bring my mouth down on hers, tasting her tears, feeling like a loser. I breathe in the cinnamon scent of her golden colored skin. “I’m sorry,” I whisper against her lips.
“I know you are…” her voice cracks and I hug her to me.
“Listen to me. I need you to marry my brother. There’s a good possibility that my baby is growing inside you. You are going to need him, and he’ll treat you right.”
She shakes her head as her tears continue to fall. “No. I’ll wait for you.”
“Baby, I’m going to be aching and burning for you when I’m on the inside but there is no damn point in you waiting for me. I may never leave that prison once I go in,” I confess the one thing that scares me the most.
“Stop. I don’t want to hear anymore.”
“Okay.” I kiss her soft and deep and hold her until she quiets her sobs. Rubbing her back I attempt to calm her. I don’t like this shit either but it’s the only option. We can’t run. Not with me facing charges and the cartel out for her blood.
Eventually she pulls away, drying her eyes with the hem of her shirt. I kiss her again knowing what I need to do. I trace her lips with my tongue and the angles of her face with my fingers, committing the shape of her to memory. I breathe in her sweet smell one more time. “Stephanie is waiting downstairs to talk to you and I got some things to take care of. I’ll be back soon.” I wink at her as I get up from the bed.
“Okay,” she croaks. I think we both know I won’t be back. I’d rather turn myself in now. I don’t think I can bear to watch her marry my brother and see his mark on her.
I smile at her, a pretty picture laying on my bed wrapped in my Foxie’s quilt. This is how I want to remember her. Ainsley came at me out of nowhere fast and so fucking hard. My chest squeezes tight as I close the door and leave her laying there. I pass my brother on the stairs knowing he’s coming for her.
I stop him. “Just promise me that you’ll be good to her.”
He laughs. “Don’t worry. We’ll both be waiting for you. The day you get out she’ll be back in your arms and I’ll step aside so you can take your rightful place at the head of the club. I never wanted any of this you know.”
I know he didn’t but thinking something isn’t possible is one thing then having it land in your lap is another.
“Just do me proud.”
He gives me a hug and I get to the bottom of the stairs. My old man is waiting for me with my mother. The broken expression on her face almost brings me to my knees. I hate hurting the people I love. I hate breaking my mother’s heart.
“We’ll have you out in a few days once they set bail,” my mother tells me.
I don’t have it in me. I told my father to leave me in there, because if they bail me out, I’ll be too tempted to take Ainsley up on her offer to run.
My Grandpa, Grim brings me in for a rough hug. “Don’t drop the soap.” He chuckles. “You’ll be fine. Already got contacts in place to keep you safe in there.” I nod.
My stomach is in knots as I get in the back of the car. My Uncle Striker is behind the wheel.
I look back at the clubhouse wishing I had fucked Ainsley one more time.
Epilogue
Ainsley
White lights twinkle overhead. White roses and silver accents decorate the room.
I smile as the couple next to Abel and me recite their vows. Today is bittersweet. I’m here physically but emotionally I am dead inside. I am far away from here trapped in my own head. Living in that fantasy of Axel and me living a different life in Italy. Green fields of rolling vines stretching as far as my eyes can see.
My veil is lifted, and I blink as Abel smiles at me. “I do,” he promises, and I robotically repeat the words. Before I know it, he’s kissing me and for the tiniest moment I allow myself to pretend I am kissing his brother instead. I’m back in Te
xas next to the fire as Axel caresses my cheek. His lips are on mine. His fingers biting into my hips as he drives into me over and over again.
A chorus of cheers and whistles erupts inside the church. We follow Harley and Reaper down the aisle and to the party being thrown instead of a reception at the Roadhouse.
I can’t stop thinking of Axel and wishing he were here. His lips on my neck, whispering that he’s with me all the way. I can feel the ghost of his touch on me but then I realize it’s Abel leading me to the dance floor for our first dance. My new husband grins at me, he doesn’t have a care in the world. Half of his heart isn’t locked up in a cell somewhere.
I bite back my tears and offer him the best smile I can afford.
“My brother wants you to be happy and enjoy life, Ainsley.”