All that said, if I let myself think about the way I feel about him too long, I will freak myself out. Trust is not something that comes easy for me, especially when it comes to men. I can’t even blame that mistrust on the men most important in my life, because all of them are shining examples of what men should be. Loving, loyal, dependable, and protective. It’s the men outside of those closest to me, the ones I’ve dated, my girlfriends have fallen for, or just guys I know who have taught me to tread cautiously when it comes to allowing my heart’s involvement in any type of relationship.
“What are you thinking about?” Maxim’s sleepy voice drags me from my thoughts as he uses his hand on my hip to drag me deeper into his side.
“Nothing really.” I slide my hand around his waist, hitching my thigh higher up on his hip, while I burrow my face into his warm skin.
“Liar.” He squeezes my hip. “You’re not talking yourself out of coming home with me, are you?”
“No.” I tip my head back, and his chin dips to meet my gaze.
“That’s good, since it would suck to have to kidnap you,” he mumbles, making me laugh, and his eyes move to my mouth and his expression changes ever so slightly. “So fucking pretty.”
My belly dips at the compliment, and without thinking, I move my hand to his jaw and lean up to kiss him. He slides his fingers behind my knee, using it to drag me over him to straddle his waist.
“Morning.” I smile down at him.
“Morning.” His palm glides up my back, into my hair, and I lower my face toward him, ignoring my cell phone when it rings. “Wanna get that?”
“No.” I brush my lips across his while rolling my hips into him. With nothing between us, neither of us having dressed last night after our shower, the head of his cock rubs against my clit, causing a mewl of pleasure to pass my lips. “We need a condom,” I pant against his mouth when he rocks up against me.
“Got tested when I got home. I’m clean.” His eyes lock with mine, and my heart starts to pound.
Before him, it had been months since I had been with anyone, and when I got my birth control replaced recently, they tested me for everything under the sun. But going without a condom is not something I have done with anyone. Ever.
“It’s okay. Let me get to my bag, and I’ll grab a condom.” He starts to move me, but I shake my head and dig my fingers into his pecs. “It’s okay, baby. I’ll wait for that, wait for you to trust me with all of you.” His thumb skims over my bottom lip. “I want more than your wet heat strangling my cock, or to know how good it feels to be bare inside you. I want you, all of you, even the pieces that you work so hard to protect.”
My throat burns. I stare into his eyes, and my fingers dig into his skin. “I want to trust you.” It’s not a lie. I do want to trust him. I want to give him the opportunity to earn my trust and to allow myself to be vulnerable with him. Instead of telling him all of that, I lick my lips, then lift up slightly, then hiss when the head of his cock bumps against my entrance.
“Fuck.” His expression becomes darker, and his hold on me tightens as I slide down his length. When I’m full of him and there is no space left between us, I bury my face in his neck while his arms wrap around me tight. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” I swallow down the overwhelming amount of emotions coursing through me and make sure I’m not going to do something ridiculous like cry before I lean back.
“Look at me, April.” The softly spoken order and his fingers on my jaw draw my gaze to his. “Fair warning.” He wraps his hands around my hips and uses his hold to rock me against him. “I want way more than just your pussy or the use of your body, and I always get what I want.” How a threat like that can sound so damn sweet is anyone’s guess, but my eyes slide closed, then open when he lifts his hips off the bed, making me whimper. “Ride me.”
Without a fight, I start out slow, taking my time, memorizing the way he feels, the way he’s looking at me, the soft touch of his hands in such contrast with the look in his eyes. He cups my breasts, his fingers tugging at my nipples before he sits up, locking his lips around one, then the other.
My fingers glide into his hair, and my head falls back on my shoulders as I start to pant for breath, sure I will never get enough air in my lungs. I ride him faster and harder, chasing the orgasm I feel right at the tips of my fingers. And I know he’s right there with me when he falls back to the bed, slides one hand between my legs, and circles my clit, the other delving into my hair, yanking me down so that our mouths are almost touching.