He stretched before he leaned forward and looked at the music in front of him. Something wasn’t right. It sounded rougher…with a bite or an edge to it that Matt wasn’t sure felt like him but then every time he tried to soften it, the notes didn’t sound right in his head. He wished he had a synthesizer.
Just as he placed his hands on the keys again, his phone rang. Matt closed his eyes, considered ignoring it but then forced himself to look over to see who it was.
Guilt bled through his fingers and would taint what he was doing if he didn’t pick it up. He really was an asshole sometimes. “Hey, Mom.” They’d spoken a couple of times since he’d been here but he hadn’t seen his parents other than that first time.
“Hello. I hope I’m not interrupting…” Her voice trailed off in a way that made Matt shift uncomfortably. He didn’t want her to worry about interrupting him. He wanted the kind of relationship Oliver had with his family—for them to feel at ease around each other and to understand each other. It wasn’t fair that his mom was caught in the middle of the emotional landmine of his and his father’s relationship.
“Of course not. I’m sorry I haven’t called or been by to see you again.” He took a breath, caressed one of the piano keys with his finger. “How’s Dad doing?” Had he made a decision concerning the surgery they hadn’t even told him about yet?
“You know your dad—even if he wasn’t doing fine, he’d never say it. He’s okay, though. We wanted to see if you could make it over for dinner one night before you leave.”
He couldn’t help but wonder if it was both of them who wanted that or only his mom. Not seeing each other made his relationship with his dad easier. They could both pretend to understand each other, each pretend to be whom the other needed.
“I’d love that. I’ll still be here for a while. I have a shoot coming up on Monday.” His stomach soured at the words. “I’ll be around at least a couple of days after that in case we need reshoots for anything. Maybe we can plan something for then.” Would they tell him about the surgery, he wondered? Would his father be able to look him in the eyes?
“That sounds perfect…I…I love you, Matt. We both do. You know that, right?” Her voice was so soft he could hardly hear it but then it echoed inside his head, making him feel a twist of different emotions. Did he know that? Yes. That didn’t mean things were easy or cut-and-dried, though. It was hard, feeling as though you didn’t fit in with your own family.
“I know, Mom. I love you guys too.” When he hung up the phone, Matt immediately pushed off the piano bench and went straight for Oliver’s office. He didn’t know why but he wanted to see the other man, wanted to talk to him.…Was also totally interrupting his work time. Matt lowered his hand just as he was going to knock. Oliver had a job to do. He couldn’t drop everything anytime Matt wanted him to.
He got angry that Oliver was always trying to pick up the pieces for him, but then he always went to Oliver when he was falling apart or just wanted someone to talk to. Oliver was always the first person he thought of when something good happened in his life. He was always the first person he thought of when something went wrong as well. That was what he supposed friends were for. It didn’t help that ever since they’d fucked, he’d remembered the feel of Oliver’s skin. Had Oliver’s taste on his tongue and remembered what it was like to have Oliver inside of him.
Christ, he’d almost kissed him in the kitchen before he’d burned himself the other night.
It was a one-off. Something that they didn’t need to repeat because eventually, it would screw them, and not in a good way.
It was because he’d always considered himself a sexual creature, he told himself. He enjoyed touching and kissing and fucking. He also enjoyed Oliver so of course, he would continue thinking about putting two of his favorite things into one.
Put two of his favorite things into one? “What the fuck is wrong with me?” Matt whispered to himself and then huffed. It was then that the door pulled open and he realized how close to it he stood. And yes, that he probably looked quite odd creeping around Oliver’s office door.
“I heard shuffling around. My mind’s not on writing today and I thought maybe I was creating distractions for myself. Why didn’t you knock?” Oliver asked.
“I don’t know,” Matt replied. “Do you wanna get out of here?”