When he’s done making me come, he leaves.
It’s only later that I notice the gold watch is gone.
Chapter Eighteen
I don’t see Blue the rest of the night. Or the next.
He has Oscar escort me home with strict orders not to come back to work. Of course I go back anyway, but Ivan has told the bouncers I’m not to work. Blue isn’t there.
I’m worried about him. Did he take the watch?
I know he did.
He turned my own weakness against me, stealing what I’ve stolen. Except I only steal in mindless, desperate moments of stress. He is methodical and stone cold. What will he do when he finds the man who owns it?
Mrs. Owens asks about the nice man who visited us. “Did you invite him over for tea?” she asks.
I don’t have the heart to tell her no, but the truth is I don’t know if I’ll see Blue again. The oral sex he gave me may very well have been goodbye. He doesn’t owe me anything. I should be happy if he doesn’t hate me anymore—that should be reward enough.
If he isn’t killing another man on my behalf, that will definitely be reward enough.
It’s Candy who finally tips me over the edge. We’re talking on the phone in the morning, her voice tired after a long night of dancing. “Don’t fall for his bullshit,” she says in warning.
“What?”
“He’s going to feed you some line about taking care of you, protecting you, et cetera.”
“He’s not feeding me any line, Candy. He’s not even speaking to me.”
“That’s just because he’s busy being all vigilante. Men have one-track minds, you know. Once he’s done with that, he’ll come for you.”
“What do you mean, vigilante? Have you heard anything?”
She snorts. “I don’t have to hear anything. No one gets to touch you. Hell, he’d probably kick my ass if we did the Double Trouble routine.”
Nerves twist my stomach. “He’s going to get himself in trouble. A guy like Travis isn’t going to take it lying down. He’ll tell the cops.”
“Blue would rather be in jail than sitting at home, knowing that the asshole who hurt you was still walking around.”
Fuck. “Well, I wouldn’t rather that. Don’t I get a say in it?”
“Not really,” Candy says more softly. “It was sweet of you to try and protect him. I understand why you did it.”
“And for nothing.”
“Not nothing. Blue knows how much you care about him. It’s like a fucking declaration of love, you being like that. He understands that. He came from the same place you did.”
Yeah, Blue did. He knows how little words mean. I love you. I care about you. They don’t mean anything. It’s actions that count—and protecting him, letting myself be hurt to keep him safe, meant the most. I was afraid for him to find out because he’d know how I felt about him. He’d use it against me.
That was what men did, use things against me. Their bodies, their words.
I expected that from Blue, but instead he just licked my clit until I came.
“I need to find him,” I say suddenly, decisively. I need to convince him that Travis doesn’t matter. I’ll move out of this neighborhood to get away from him. Somehow I’ll do that, even if I have to accept Blue’s help.
If he still wants to help me.
I have to try.