But the past eleven years?
The decade when I’d been wallowing in self-pity, she’d been serving.
She’d been chained, bruised, whipped, raped—
I choked.
Utter violence ran through my veins.
Thick, black, and monstrous rage.
Grabbing a pine cone from the forest floor, I hurled it at the nearest tree. “Fuck you! Fuck all of you!”
The words sounded eerily familiar, granting a whisper of a memory when I’d taken Gem against her will and attacked the library wall until my knuckles bled.
I’d cursed Storymaker and everyone from Fables for my pain that night. But now, I cursed them for my family’s. I raged at them for all the days and all the nights I hadn’t been able to save my loved ones.
I wished I’d gone with them that night. I wished I’d left the guests to rot, stepped through the cave, and been caught with them all over again.
At least I could’ve held them. Cried with them. Served with them.
I might have been able to redeem myself for all the things I’d done wrong.
“FUCK!” I threw another pine cone.
It smashed against a trunk, skittering into the undergrowth.
Something whimpered.
I froze.
Creeping forward, I peered into the darkness. “Who’s there?” Instincts commanded I bend and pick up a heavy stick, brandishing it as a weapon.
Something growled.
Goosebumps ran down my arms.
I crept toward the bush where the pine cone had landed. Grabbing another by my feet, I tossed it into the dense foliage.
Another growl; this one louder with a savage snarl.
A wolf? A bear foraging before hibernation?
Did bears whimper?
Striding forward, needing to know my enemy, I stopped by the bush, sucked in a breath, and ripped back the leaf-full branches.
Teeth snapped at my leg.
Fur lashed left and right as a tail whipped in fury.
I leaped back, letting the bush go, swatting the creature in the face with the ricochet of leaves.
Another whimper, followed by a more threatening growl.
A growl I’d heard on myself.
A growl that promised pain but only because it couldn’t stomach enduring pain itself.
I waited for the animal to launch itself out of the bush and attack me. I raised my stick, prepared to fight.
My heart galloped with anticipation.
...
But nothing.
Nothing jumped out.
Nothing tried to kill me.
Advancing again, I risked losing a hand as I pushed the branches away, locking eyes with a teeth snapping...dog.
“You’re not a wolf.”
The thing snarled and tried to launch itself at me, only to be yanked back by a thick rope around his neck. A rope that’d cut into his flesh, leaving it oozing and bloody. Parts of the rope were frayed from where the animal had obviously tried to chew its way to freedom, only to give up in defeat.
Shit.
Dropping my stick, I studied where the other end of the rope disappeared to. It snaked around a tree, looking as if it’d been there a while. Pawprints churned up the ground, the reek of defecation covered the dog’s matted fur, and beneath its shaggy gray and white coat, it was nothing but skin and bones.
My heart cracked.
Every protective part of me sat up, noticed, and needed to help. Stepping over the bush into its small prison, I did my best to avoid piles of crap. The dog scooted back, snarling with spit dripping off its lower lip.
“It’s okay. I won’t hurt you.”
How many times had I seen that face on myself, on Jareth, on Wes, Maliki, and Neo? It looked manic and ferocious but beneath its show of violence was nothing but gut-churning fear.
“Who the hell tied you up out here, huh?” My hands curled. “Someone left you to die.”
The dog sneezed with its gums curled high over its teeth. Its snarling increased with warning.
I ducked to my haunches, holding out my hand for it to sniff. “I’m not going to hurt you.”
It growled louder, its claws digging into the dirt as its body twisted and coiled.
I knew the risk.
I recognized the signs of something so far retreated into its mind that only savagery remained. But I still reached out. I still tried to free him.
Grabbing the rope by its neck, I tugged a little.
The dog spun and bit me. Its fangs sank into my forearm, sending my own howl threading with his. “Shit!” Ripping my arm back, the dog came with me, its jaw clamped around my flesh, not willing to let me go.
Pain flared.
Every part of me wanted to punch it in the head so it let me go.
I raised my free hand.
I curled my fist.
But then I made eye contact with the rabid mutt, and I couldn’t do it.
Everything hit me like an avalanche.
The gala.
The midnight run.
Quell and Gemma and every fucking thing.
And I gave in.
I found a kindred, fucked-up soul deep in the forest, and it calmed me. I found the peace I’d been chasing, even while my blood flowed down its teeth. He thrashed and jerked, shaking me like I was his prey to tear apart.