“Same.” She kissed me. “And if you’re wondering...my favorite food is vanilla cupcakes.”
I snickered. “I don’t think dessert is a food.”
“Sure it is.” She pulled away. “It’s an entire food group.”
“I think my favorite at the moment would be that pumpkin pasta with that spicy sausage stuff you made last week.”
“Chorizo?”
“Yeah, that was fantastic.”
“Well, you’re in luck. I bought some more at the supermarket. Which is actually still waiting to be put in the fridge so...” She brandished the razor again. “I ask you again, Mr. Sands...are you sure?”
I grinned and looked at myself in the mirror.
I looked lopsided now.
With my long hair, a long beard didn’t look out of place. But now I had more hair on my chin than I did on my head, and it had to go. I couldn’t remember what I looked like without the scruff. And I was finally, hopefully, stable enough to find out.
“I’m sure.” I squeezed her hips one last time and sat back on the stool. “I’m all yours.”
“Yes, you are.” She smiled as she squirted some flowery-smelling shaving cream into her palm. “Forever mine, husband-to-be.”
“Forever.” My heart skipped a beat as she smeared the cream onto my cheeks.
“Sorry you’re going to smell like jasmine and orchid. I only have the stuff I use to shave my legs. I didn’t buy you any toiletries ’cause I wasn’t expecting you to de-hair.”
I shrugged. “I’m not bothered. I already smell like you anyway.” I licked my lips. “I take you often enough that my skin has adopted your scent.”
“You can smell that?” Her nose wrinkled as she dragged the razor over my cheek, rinsing the clump of hair into the sink before returning to swipe again.
“Yes.”
“Your senses must be better than mine.”
“They grew stronger the longer I was on my own.” I opened up a little more, sharing pieces of me that I never thought would be interesting to someone else. “I needed better hearing to track dinner. I needed better eyesight to walk in the dark. I needed better smell to know what mushrooms and berries were good or poisonous.”
A little furrow appeared between her eyes as she carefully continued to shave me. Rinsing the blade before removing large areas of my beard, leaving my cheeks feeling cool and bare.
“See, it’s that sort of stuff that people want to hear about, Kas.” She stooped and tipped my chin up, running the blade down my throat. “People know that they’re giving away a lot of their natural instincts each time technology makes our lives easier. Do you know some of the younger generation don’t even know how to read a map anymore?” She shook her head with a huff. “But those who feel their survival skills dropping off are the ones who look to educate themselves. They’re the ones who would watch your channel and learn from the wealth of information you’ve gathered.”
I stiffened as she ran the sharpness over my Adam’s apple. How could I tell her that sharing myself online still scared me? Those comments from a few weeks ago still haunted me. I’d been a piece of meat all my life. I hadn’t been seen as a person but something to be used, abused, and tossed aside. If that was how people watching my videos would see me, I wanted nothing to fucking do with it. They might not be able to touch me but just knowing they wanted me? That they might fantasize about using me?
Fuck.
My heart rate picked up again and my headache returned.
Gemma stopped shaving me, laying her hand on my now naked cheek. “Kas...?”
I exhaled heavily, doing my best to shove away such pathetic thoughts. “I’m okay.”
Her eyes searched mine for a long time before she slowly ducked to kiss me, then resumed shaving me.
We didn’t talk again until the sink was full of floating hair, her razor was blunt, and my face felt ten times lighter.
“Ready to see?” she asked, blocking the mirror to my left as she grabbed a hand towel and rubbed my cheeks and down my throat.
The sensation was soft and scratchy all at once.
My skin tingled.
My cock twitched.
Gritting my teeth, I nodded.
“Remember, you’re all mine, and I will make sure everyone at that gala and all around the world knows it.” Gem backed away, watching me carefully as I rose from the stool and faced the mirror.
Holy shit.
I froze.
Who the hell was that guy?
I didn’t recognize him.
Not a single piece of him.
He looked younger. Calmer. Happier.
Leaning in, I touched my bare cheek, my fingers trembling.
A scar I remembered Levin giving me followed the contour of my cheekbone. Another glinted silver along my jaw. Mementos of a time when I was too weak to fight off those who would do me harm.
Once again, a flash of panic shot through my blood.
Gemma was right.