I shook my head at my stupidity.
I was getting sick of this side of myself. The side that was still a victim. Still unsure that this new life could be trusted.
My feet stopped.
I wanted to go back into her bedroom so fucking badly. I wanted to curl around her and fall asleep with her in my arms. I wanted to be normal. To fully claim her and stop all the shit inside my head.
But fuck...if I woke up and found I’d hurt her?
My heart almost stopped.
Soon.
Focus on fixing the rest of yourself, and then you can be normal.
For now...sleeping apart was for both our sakes.
Hugging her pillow, I padded down the corridor and stuck my head into the bathroom and two other bedrooms. One bedroom was an office with wall-to-wall shelving full of climbing photos, framed accolades, a desk full of technology, and a box in the corner overflowing with ropes and old climbing shoes. The other bedroom had been converted into a workout spot with a yoga mat in the middle of the floor along with numerous pink and purple climbing holds screwed into the wall, creeping over the ceiling with a chin-up bar braced on the other side of the room.
I paused.
My heart swelled with gratefulness that Gem valued her own space so much, she’d banished all space for any guests.
My mouth went sour at that word.
Fuck.
I never wanted to see another guest in my life. And where better place to stay than in a house that had no space for anyone else but me and Gem.
When I’d first walked into her house, I’d felt claustrophobic. Her living room and kitchen would’ve fit into the foyer of Fables. Her bedroom was the size of one of my old bathrooms, yet...something was special about this place that Fables had never been able to earn.
This felt comforting. Safe. The soft cream on the walls with white trim and pretty artwork of sunsets over boulders and sunrises over forests gave me a vibe of relaxation and peace.
Heading back to the living room, I eyed up the mess left behind by her brother. My lips twitched to think that Gem and her brother’s cleanliness weren’t nearly as obsessive as mine. Then again, they had a life to live. They had things outside of cleaning and cooking to spend their time on. It wasn’t that I liked cleaning. It was just something to do. A task to keep my hands busy while my mind faded more and more.
An itch to clean filled me. To ensure that when Gem woke in the morning, her house was spotless.
I didn’t know how long it would be before I could earn money of my own, but for now...I had two hands and a knack for cleaning after a decade of training.
It’s the least I can do.
Tossing my pillow onto her couch, I marched into the kitchen to search the cupboards for cleaning products. She only had the bare minimum disinfectant spray and glass cleaner, along with half a roll of paper towel.
Her lack of supplies surprised me.
I’d run out of all this stuff a year after killing everyone at Fables. I’d gone through copious amounts of bleach and rags to clean out the blood and putrid stench of death. If Fables hadn’t had a year’s worth supply of cleaning products, I wouldn’t have been able to get it as spotless as I did.
However, what was Gemma’s excuse?
She lived in a world where stores were open all hours with shelves piled high full of things. She didn’t have to use lemons from the orchard outside to cut through grime. She could just purchase products with her plastic card.
Glancing around her place, I noticed no knickknacks or clutter. She didn’t have expensive clocks like Storymaker had in his library. She didn’t display weapons or animal skins or had anything symbolizing her status.
Her house was homey but stark.
It was yet another thing I didn’t know about her. I knew she was kind and caring and forgiving to a fault, but I didn’t know what sort of person she was in this world. A spender or a saver? A partier or a recluse?
What did she do during her time off?
What lucky people got to hang out with her while I’d been rotting away in my valley?
My head pounded as the urge to know everything made me groan.
Whispers of the ghosts I’d left behind tried to fill my ears.
She’ll realize what you are soon enough, Kas.
You’re nothing. That’s why you were taken from this world and given to Fables. You’re worthless without that place.
Spinning on my heel, I turned my back on those lies.
I might not be whole yet, but I wasn’t so badly cracked that I believed them anymore. Jareth had helped with that. He’d pushed me into healing, and Gemma was the glue keeping me together.