Because she’d chosen me.
Fate had chosen her for me.
And I would finally start trying to deserve her instead of letting my past destroy her.
“I love you.” I kissed her, inhaling her scent of papaya and woodsmoke, interlaced with sharpness from the forest and earthiness from the grave. “That was the second thing I realized last night and the main reason I ran. I love you, Gem.” I kissed her again, chaste and soft, my heart pounding against my ribs. “I think I fell for you the moment you found me. I’ve just been too shit-terrified to admit it.”
She gasped in my hold, her mouth parting as I kissed her a third time.
Salt laced our kiss from her tears.
Letting her cheeks go, I pushed her backward, insanely grateful when she didn’t fight me.
Lust roared through my veins. All the need from last night. All the pent-up desire, possessiveness, and fear when I’d seen Jareth holding her in the dark overflowed.
I couldn’t catch a proper breath as I lay over her, pressing her onto her back and settling between her legs. Our lips connected again, dancing over each other, our tongues touching almost shyly.
All the darker urges to possess and claim faded away. I’d hurt her again. I was done hurting her. From now on, I would only touch her with the gentleness she deserved.
Her head raised off the grass as she kissed me deeper, sending a tangle of heat between my legs. I hardened. I wanted.
I opened my mouth wider for her, sinking into the kiss but refusing to let her push me into places I couldn’t control.
I kept most of my weight on my elbows, either side of her body. I kept my touch soft and loving. For the first time in my life, I didn’t want to rush sex. I didn’t want to get it over with to avoid pain. I didn’t want to finish to prove I was in command. I was free of that shit and lost in the moment with her.
Just her.
Gemma in my arms, her taste on my tongue, her body pinned beneath mine.
I didn’t need to dominate to be free of my own wounds. I didn’t need to hurt her to fulfill a sick revenge. I was free. Free to enjoy every fleeting touch, every gasp, every lick.
“Kas...” She tried to pull me closer. “I need you.”
I shook my head, guilt smothering me. “I shouldn’t have started this.” I nuzzled into her neck, kissing my way across her bruises. “You’re hurt. I should let you rest.”
She arched her throat, allowing me greater access. “I should push you away and order you to never come near me again.”
I sucked in a harsh breath as my head shot up. “Is that what you want?”
Her hazel eyes glowed. “Not at all.”
“Then why—”
“You said you should let me rest. And I replied with an equally silly suggestion.”
I scowled. “It’s not silly that I finally value your life. That I would rather end my own than yours.”
She cupped my cheek. “No, that’s not silly.” Pulling me down for a kiss, she murmured into my mouth, “Just like it’s not silly for me to admit that I love you too. That all the should-dos and common sense decisions no longer have any hold on us. Only we matter. Only we understand why we can’t fight this. Why we’re no longer in control of how we feel, how we should act, or what we should do.” She ran her touch over my cheekbone. “I don’t take a single second with you for granted. I’m grateful that Jareth didn’t knock out more of your memory. I’m thankful that you remember. That you remember me. That you...love me.”
“Always.” I kissed her, harder this time, balancing on soft and savage.
She moaned as our tongues swept and stroked.
Letting some of my weight blanket her, I gave in to the heady sensation of just kissing. Nothing more. I wanted to memorize every inch. To take my time. To touch her with whispers instead of horrors.
I want to be worthy.
Her heart pounded against mine as our kiss grew deeper. A throaty moan escaped her and I pulled back, locking eyes with her. I searched her heated stare, her slightly drunken face.
“Do you want me to stop?” I asked.
I’d never been asked that.
Never understood the power in such words or the way they’d flash through me with even more love for this girl. I had it wrong. I didn’t need to vandalize and monopolize her to be vindicated. I just needed to let her in. To love. To be brave enough to give up my life for someone worthier than me.
She shook her head, wincing a little from the fresh bruises around her neck. “No.”
I looked around us, drinking in the forest with shards of sunlight spearing through the trees. It was beautiful and also wild. It offered food and a home but could also kill without malice or care. The fact that I had Gemma on her back while she held my heart in her hands, in the very same place where death and life resided, was symbolic.