"Now you've found Tyler again…" Able says softly.
"I've found Tyler, but nothing's changed. He's not ready for this. Finding out that he walked out on me when I was pregnant is going to kill him. Finding out his daughter was adopted and now calls another man Dad…what do you think that's going to do to him?"
The hall is silent. Able and Greg sit in what I'm assuming is shock, and I feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I'm not carrying this burden of knowledge by myself anymore. I don't have to make this huge decision in isolation. Now they know they're going to have to help me.
"Where is she now?" Able asks eventually.
"At kindergarten. She won't be back until later."
He nods and then puts his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his chest and kissing me on the top of my head. Greg rests his big hand with HATE on the knuckles on my knee, but there is no hate in his gesture. Just care.
"You should have told us," Greg murmurs eventually. "Even if you felt like you couldn't tell Tyler, you should have told one of us. You just left and didn't come back." His thumb moves back and forth over my knee as though he's trying to soothe me, and it's too much. Greg's hands are about power and control. They're about toughness and safety, not about tenderness. The lump that burns in my throat comes from the realization that I've hurt him.
I never imagined that was a possibility.
"I couldn't," I whisper, resting my hand over his. "Your loyalties lie with Tyler, not with me. This connection between us was all new. I couldn't risk dumping such a massive thing into the midst of your lives, especially when Tyler was still so volatile."
"You could," Able says. "We would have done our best to help you in whatever you decided."
"You would never have kept it a secret from Tyler, though, would you? I couldn't have asked that of you."
"And now we know…" Greg looks back at the photo as though he needs to confirm that what he saw is real.
"Now you know, Tyler will have to know too." Saying the words brings it all crashing down on me. This isn't just about Tyler and me and our past, this is about Suzanne and her husband, and most importantly, it's about Sophie. Little Sophie, who looks so much like her daddy that it's uncanny.
"It'll be okay," Able is quick to say. "Tyler's not as bad as you think. He's gone to take care of his mom today."
"I never thought I'd see the day," Greg says, shaking his head.
"I know," I tell them. "Luna told me."
"So you know he's facing up to his challenges…"
I sigh, taking my hand from Greg's and worry at the hangnail on my thumb. "This isn't a challenge. It's the lives of five people.
"Ten," Greg says softly. When I meet his eyes, it's like looking into a child's room at night. There's darkness there, but softness and comfort too.
"Will he want to get to know her?" I ask, even though I know the answer. Of course he will. How could he resist the gorgeous little girl we made when we were young and in love before all the hurt and grief caught us in its ugly web.
"Of course he will," Able says.
"Will he be angry with me?"
Greg shakes his head. "He'll be angry with himself, but that will pass because he'll have her to spend time with."
"I feel like there is so much that has happened. So much that has broken both our hearts."
Able squeezes my shoulders. "You know, Sandy, over your life, your heart is going to break so many times. That's just how it is. But you can't sit around sifting through the shards. You have to realize that in the end, it's all of the broken and whole pieces that make up the beautiful mosaic of our lives."
I turn to him, so in awe of the lovely truth that pours out of him, and I know what I have to do. "I need to talk to my sister, and then I'll come back and tell Tyler everything. It's the only way we have a chance of being together."
"And that's what you want?" Greg asks, the hopefulness a vulnerable edge to his usually gruff voice.
"It is," I say. "It really is."
His hand touches my cheek before he presses his lips against mine. It's a gentle kiss. Gentler than any we've shared before, and I slide into it like slipping into warm water. When Greg pulls back, I turn to Able and reach for him, hooking my hand around his neck. His kiss is as sweet as fairground candy, and with it, some of the ache drifts from my heart.
And although this decision is only one small step in the difficulties to come, I feel as though a huge weight has already been lifted from my shoulders.