It'd be nice for him to have one of those, I imagine. His mother is a monster and he's never known his father. Having a blood relative that understands you and wants the best for you would be a new thing for him.
Me too, actually, since I keep forgetting I'm a clone.
Hit with the urge to find Ruthie, I separate from Zaemen and head toward the crew quarters. Ruthie's room is empty, the door open as the cleaner bot scrubs the floors. I head for the mess hall, but she's not in there, either. The bridge is empty except for Jerzec, who's working on charting a course for our upcoming journey. Unless she's holed up in a storage closet making out with Kazex, there's only one other place she could be.
I turn around and head for the rec room, and before I even get there, I can hear the laughter and talking through the double doors. I poke my head inside, and Ruthie sits at the round table in the corner with Kazex, Aithar, Jerzec and Sakkar. There's a massive pile of credits in front of her and she has a carcinogel—space's answer to cigarettes—hanging out of her mouth. "Pony up or shut it down, boys. What'll it be?"
"I fold," Jerzec says, throwing his cards down. Sakkar nods and does the same.
"Me too," says Aithar, frowning. "All of my cards are the same." He tosses down three kings and a pair of queens.
Ruthie coughs on her carcinogel, shaking her head as she rakes more of the credits toward her.
"You fool," Jerzec says. "The goal is to match them!"
"I thought that I wanted all of them the same color," Aithar protests. "Or in order!"
"That's a flush, or a straight, and those are good hands, but the one you had was good, too," Ruthie corrects. She holds her cards close to her chest and arches a brow at Kazex, who remains in. "Well, big boy?"
He gives my twin an absolutely sultry look that I've never seen on his face before. Kazex's smile could curl toes as he regards Ruthie. "I'll call it. Show me what you've got."
Sakkar makes a disgusted sound. "Ugh, not here at the table." He waves a hand at them. "Save it for private quarters. This is for cards."
Kazex just keeps watching Ruthie with that sly, slightly daring smile on his face.
Ruthie giggles and shows him her cards—garbage. "Did I have a tell?" she asks, watching Kazex as he rakes in the credits with his pair of tens. "How did you know?"
Kazex shrugs, sliding the credits toward him. "I always know when you're lying. The tip of your nose gets pink."
Ruthie puts a hand to her nose, gasping. "It does not!"
There's more laughter and Sakkar glances over at me. "Did you want to join us, Ruth?"
I head over to my twin and hug her from behind as she sits in her chair. "Nah, I just wanted to be around the vibes. I'm going to read that new book that Milly gave us."
Ruthie hugs my arms, and I don't even mind that her ear jewelry digs into my cheek as I give her an affectionate squeeze and then head over to the rec room couches. I plop down on one and pretend to pick up the book that's on the end table in the room so everyone can take turns reading it. It's called Earth Abides and it's not new, but old as heck, the paper musty-smelling and yellowed, and slightly crumbly feeling in my hands. The poker game starts up again and I find that I watch my clone-twin more than I stare at the book.
I'm so proud of Ruthie. I think she might be stronger than me, because she's absolutely taken the cloning thing in stride. She's determined to be her own person, from the spiky mohawk she now sports proudly to the wealth of ear jewelry. I pick dark-colored dresses and jumpsuits to wear, because I like matching my husband. Ruthie's jumpsuits are light colored and bright, and she rarely wears a dress. The carcinogels are new, and I don't recall having memories of smoking, but if it becomes a danger to her, I'll have Sakkar drop a word. Most of all, I love that Ruthie feels at home with the crew. I love that she hangs with the boys and wants to be around them. I have Straik, and the girls from the Buoyant Star, and I want her to have someone, too. Someone other than me, because we need to have more people than just each other.
"You're not even reading the book," Aithar points out as he looks over at me. "Come play cards."
"I don't know how," I lie, and set the book aside. "I think I'm actually going to take a nap." I curl up on the couch and tuck my arm under my head, watching as Ruthie deals the cards with an absolutely skilled hand. Truth is, I'm lying. I remember cards. I remember summers full of card games with cousins and spending my twenty-first birthday at a casino and playing. I have lots of memories of cards…but as I watch Ruthie in her element, I decide another little white lie can't hurt.