So many questions. Is something else troubling her? I lift my head, gazing thoughtfully down at Ruth's face. "What's troubling you, love?"
She licks her lips, hesitating. "I just…I know you don't get along with them, but they're all mated to my friends now. Well, not Mathiras, but Helen seems determined to change that. I just…I worry." She shrugs, her gaze growing distant. "I worry you're not going to want to be around them and I'll lose Jade and Alice."
Is that what's troubling her? "Ruth, love, I've worked with them before. I can work with them again…and this time, I promise I won't leave anyone behind." I grimace, because my track record is admittedly not great. "My place is with you, no matter what happens. If you want to stay with your friends, we'll stay with your friends. If you want me to take you back to the Star so you can eat stale noodles and live life on the edge near an ice field, I'll do that. Just as long as I get to stay at your side, I'm happy. Understand?"
Ruth's eyes grow shiny, and she presses her lips to mine in a hard, emotional kiss. "I love you."
"I love you, too. Don't be afraid of the future, love. As long as it has you and me in it, the rest doesn't matter." I'll work with the va Sithai. I'll cozy up to my dour, proper uncle. Kef, I'll even go straight. If she wants me to give up piracy, I'll change tactics. Me and the a'ani crew will be the best keffing shipping line anyone could ask for.
As long as I have Ruth by my side, it's all noise. It's not my future. Ruth and the baby she carries are my future.
Epilogue
RUTH
I can't believe that after only a few short days, I'm hugging Jade and Alice goodbye again. It hardly seems fair. We stand in my quarters at Lord va'Rin's opulent estate, as the other women get ready to head out to the Little Sister. I knew this day was coming quickly, but I still hate it. I'm used to seeing their faces every day and now we're being separated once more. "You guys should come with us on the Eye," I say between hugs. "There's room for everyone."
"Adi wants to be on his ship," Jade tells me gently. "And I want to be with him."
"Ditto Kas," Alice agrees. "It's their home."
I get it. I do. I wouldn't ask Straik to leave the Darkened Eye. It's an extension of him. It's who he is. He's comfortable and in control here, in this environment. So I understand it…but it still makes me sad. I move in for another hug, because Jade gives the best hugs, and Alice piles in on top of us. We cling to one another, and I fight back tears. I don't want to puke or cry. We'll see each other again. It's just temporary.
"Okay," I say, sniffing as I pull away. "We'll meet you on the junk asteroid in about a week. And then I'm hugging you bitches again, so be ready for it."
Alice wraps her arms around my neck and snuggles against me. "Girl, we'd be mad if you didn't! I can't believe you're hugging us of your own volition."
"Don't get used to it," I mutter, even as I hug her back. Okay, so I'm not the biggest hugger normally, but it feels good to embrace my friends again. I really wish they were staying. We can't even open a comm and talk throughout the day or send messages, because we don't want anyone linking our ships together on this. We'll once again be going dark, and for a moment, I'm so damn tired of it all that I just want to scream. I hug Alice for a bit longer before I reluctantly let her go. "It's just a week, right? We can do another week."
"A little over a week and then we'll probably split again, but for now, let's take it as a week," Jade says, rubbing my arm sympathetically. "But you have your husband and your crew, and Ruthie."
"And Helen," I point out. Our innocent little sister—at least, that's how I think of her—is going with us on the Darkened Eye, since it's a larger ship. She'll share a room with Ruthie. I'll have company at least, even if I'll miss the others.
Jade and Alice exchange a look just as Helen races into the room with a small knapsack on her shoulder. "I'm ready! When do we leave?"
I frown at that, because the Darkened Eye isn't leaving Risda III for several days yet. "Wait. You changed your mind? You're going with them and not with me?" I can't help but feel a little hurt at the realization that she's choosing Jade and Alice over me. It feels like I'm being abandoned all over again. "What the hell, Helen? I thought we talked about this?"