I lean against the toilet, even though that seems like a supremely bad idea (and a little gross). It's just nice and cool and I feel weird and sweaty. "Straik says they can check our DNA in their med computers. See which one of us is the clone. I told him not to."
"Why would you tell him not to?"
I give her a thin smile. "Because if neither of us knows, we're both safe."
Ruthie drops onto the floor next to me, her eyes wide. "You're protecting me?"
"Of course. I mean…you're me." It sounds so stupidly absurd that I can't help but giggle. Ruthie does too, and then we're both laughing like maniacs, curled up on the floor of someone else's bathroom, and it kinda feels like it'll be okay after all. "But if you want to get the test, I'll do it, too. Solidarity and all that."
She nods. "Let me think on it for a few days."
85
STRAIK
I'm jealous of my wife's clone.
It's an absolutely ludicrous realization to come to, but I tell myself that any male would be threatened by a rival, even if that rival is a carbon copy of herself. My Ruth has been completely distracted for the last few days. She spends practically every waking moment with Ruthie, their hands clasped together as they whisper. They stay up late, talking. They sit on Ruthie's bunk in Kazex's quarters, talking. They sit in the mess hall together, heads bent, talking.
They talk constantly.
I know they're simply trying to figure things out. To determine what each of them knows, what memories they have. Ruth crawls into bed with me late each night and holds tightly to me. She's still distressed, but less so by the day. Ruthie is different, with some of the same memories and some very different ones. Her mannerisms aren't the same, but too many of the memories they have are echoes of each other, enough to be more than coincidence.
"We want to try and figure out which of us is which before we take the test," Ruth confesses as I hold her close. "So it's less of a shock to whichever of us is the clone." Her hand runs over my chest. "I know we're being frustrating—"
"You're not," I reassure her. "I don't know what it's like to be cloned, so I don't know what you're going through. But I'm your husband and mate, and I'll stand by your side through all of this. If you never take the test, I don't care. I just want you to be satisfied with who you are."
She showers me with kisses and slings her leg over my hips, moving atop me. "That's why I love you so much."
I tell myself I can be patient, after that. I tell myself it won't be much longer. She'll figure this out, and when she does, we'll…go back to normal? Except I don't think there's been a “normal” since Ruth arrived, and I wouldn't change a thing. We'll go back to our usual chaos, I decide.
We're just outside of the Risda system when I start to buckle under the strain of everything. I'm already tense, trying to anticipate what my uncle will throw at me. Is this going to be a formal greeting? A trap? Something else I can't predict? I'm trying to work through all possible scenarios and taking inventory of our weapons. Add in the fact that I'm worried over Ruth and I'm a surly, snapping mess to anyone that comes into my orbit.
Ruth doesn't care, though. She comes into my office, dragging the short-haired Ruthie behind her. Kazex trails close behind, as self-appointed guardian to the vulnerable Ruthie. I try not to glare at my wife, because I'm not angry at her, and save my scowls for the two with her. "We're arriving at our destination in a few hours. Unless someone is on fire, I'm not interested."
As I pick up my tablet with our inventory of ammunition cartridges—which we're too low on for my liking—Ruth comes and sits on the edge of my desk. I absently put an arm on her hips, tugging her forward, even as I don't look up from my work. Did we not get more cartridges at our last ammunition stop? When was that? Prior to our vacation on Jirri, I think. Which means we need to be cautious, because the next ammunition vendor that's friendly to pirates is three systems over. Jerzec says we have enough fuel for basic shields and to return from Risda III but if we need to make an additional stop, we'll have to cut fuel to either shields or—
Ruth reaches over and tweaks my ear. "Is this a bad time?"
It is, but I adore my mate and worship her tiny, numerous human toes. "Not for you. For them, yes." I nod over at Ruthie and Kazex. "But for you, no."