He kisses me again, fervent and intense. "I will wait for as long as you need to."
Me? I'm not the one aching unfulfilled at the moment. "You're hard," I point out. "Do you want to have sex or not?"
"I am always hard around you." He closes his eyes and shivers when my fingers brush over one of the piercings. "But I can wait until you're comfortable."
"I'm comfortable right now," I say lightly. "Your bed is excellent."
"You know what I mean."
I do. The look in Straik's eyes is anything but playful. It's full of emotion and tenderness, and he caresses the line of my jaw again. He's talking about my moment of panic, when he touched me and instead of feeling excitement, a damaged memory flickered through my mind of another blue body pressed over me, a different man, a different voice…and taking what didn't belong to him. I lick dry lips. "I really am good. And I do want to have sex with you." I nip at the finger that moves close to my mouth. "So much sex."
"I'm not going anywhere."
I wasn't expecting the tables to turn on me. That I'd be the uncertain one in bed. "I hate being vulnerable," I admit. "I don't like not being in control of a situation."
"I noticed." He grins down at me, his hand stroking my shoulder and then cupping one breast. He teases my nipple casually, making me suck in a breath. "But you can be vulnerable with me. I won't let anything happen to you."
"I know." I swallow hard and put my hand on his chest, appreciating that I can reach out and just touch him to my heart's content. "I love you, you know."
"I love you, too. It's your call." He leans in, brushing his nose against mine even as his thumb skates over my nipple.
It sends a prickle of arousal between my thighs, reminding me that a second round really wouldn't be so terrible. I've waited all week for him to touch me, and I'm not going to let a stupid-ass fragment of a memory ruin things. "As long as you hold my hand."
"Absolutely. Do you want plas-film?"
I shake my head. "You can't get me pregnant and I'm not worried about your germs. I like your germs." I lick the tip of his nose. "I have a belly full of them, remember?"
He groans, pressing his forehead to mine as his hand skims between my thighs again, touching me where I'm slippery and still throbbing. "I will never forget a moment of it, Ruth. It's etched into my mind."
I wish I could say the same. My mind is a messy thing, though, and maybe if I make enough new memories, I'll drown out the old ones. So I open my thighs for him, kiss him, and say what we're both wanting. "Let's do it."
I almost expect Straik to bound into action. To roll on top of me and shove deep. I should know better. Just because he's a virgin doesn't mean he's an idiot. He just smiles at me and kisses me again, even as he caresses my pussy, his thumb seeking out my clit as he sinks one of his enormous fingers inside me again. I cling to his neck, holding onto him for dear life.
"Who's got you?" he whispers against my skin.
"Lord Straik," I pant as he slides that delicious finger in slowly, then pulls back again, only to sink deep once more. "My Lord Straik."
He growls in my ear. "Say that again."
"Mine," I tell him. "All mine."
He growls again, then buries his face in the crook of my neck. "Ruth…"
I know what he's going to say before he even opens his mouth. I can feel his trembling. His control still isn't where he wants it to be, but I find that oddly sweet. I like the idea of making him so crazed with lust that he loses track of everything but the need to touch me, to bury himself inside me.
He makes me feel like I'm the only person in the entire galaxy that can give him that release, too.
Parting my thighs, I encourage him to move over me. "I'm right here," I say. "Take what you need."
"No—no taking." He shoots me a worried look. "We need to be there together."
"Together, then," I agree. When he continues to hesitate, his finger pausing inside me, I decide it's time for me to take the lead after all. I push on his chest. "Lie back. I've got this."
He does, and his finger slides from my body with an obscenely wet sound that makes me shiver with appreciation. He lifts his hand to his mouth and licks it clean of my juices as he rolls onto his back.
I put on my confident smile and run my hand up and down his length. He's straining and hard, and his need excites me. If I'm in control, I won't have to worry about the annoying spur jabbing me unpleasantly as we fuck. I can control how deep he goes or how much I can take. Straik watches me, a reverent look in his eyes as I slide one leg over his hips. "Okay with you if I'm on top?"