And in weird moments, he looks out for me. I've been working so hard on seducing him I didn't stop to realize I was also enjoying this little game of ours. I am so messed up in the head.
I think about his kiss again, touching my mouth. I think about that kiss as the ship remains quiet, and my nerves begin to fray. I hold the blaster tight as I watch the door, and time seems to slow. Endless minutes pass, and I wonder if the enemy has boarded. I wonder if they've murdered everyone and I'll just sit in this stupid, small room until I starve to death. I wonder if I've been forgotten.
Then I lick my lips, remembering that brief brush of his hard mouth over mine, and know I haven't been forgotten. Straik will come here to gloat, if nothing else, and the thought makes me smile. He'll show up, mister big conquering hero, expecting me to yell or to attack him again. To keep him on his toes.
I have a better idea.
I turn that idea over in my head with secret glee, pleased with myself because he won't see it coming. Thinking about his reaction gets me through the endless time I spend in this closet-sized hideout, until I hear someone moving on the other side of the wall and I pick up the blaster again. Briefly, I worry that it won't be Straik. That it's going to be the enemy, and I'll be a captive once again. I push that horrendous thought aside immediately, because I survived it once and I'll survive it again. I refuse to dwell on it, to let it pollute my head.
I hold myself tall and strong and unafraid as someone thumps against the door panel on the other side. It's Straik, I tell myself. Has to be.
Even so, I let out a breath of sheer relief when the door slides open and Straik's triumphant form fills the narrow entryway. He's wearing nothing but a damn belt and black underwear, and yet he still manages to look smug and utterly annoying and I can't help but grin at the sight of him.
"My hero," I murmur, holding out the blaster. When he takes it, I step into his arms, loop a hand to his neck and pull him down against me. It says something that he's taller than I anticipated and yet when I tug on him, he leans in, as if he wants to see what's going to happen. So I tilt my face up, give him my most devious smile, and say, "This is how you properly kiss someone."
And I put my mouth on his.
34
STRAIK
I didn't see that coming.
For some reason, I thought she was going to whisper something in my ear. Tell me some silly secret that she didn't want the others to hear.
Instead, she puts her mouth on mine and rubs. She doesn't kiss me the way I kissed her. It's tender and gentle and her lips feel as if they're teasing mine instead of pushing hard. And her mouth is so keffing soft, too. It sends a hot bolt of pleasure up my spine and I remain still, letting her move her mouth over mine in a teasing, nipping kiss that seems to go on forever. Or maybe it's a series of kisses. I don't know. All I know is that I can't pull away even if I wanted to.
I'm trapped. Gladly.
A throat clears behind us. To my horror, I realize that Dopekh and Kazex are right behind me, because I'd asked them to come. I thought the female might need her mate and thought that he should be the one she saw the moment she got out of lockdown. Part of it was guilt, too—he should have been the one to see to her safety, not me. I keep acting like she's mine and she belongs to someone in my crew.
I'm betraying a friend with every action, and it makes me loathe myself, because I'm weak. I want her to kiss me again. I want Dopekh to relinquish her because she should be mine. I should be sorry I'm being possessive of his female and yet I'm not sorry at all. This has to change, all of it, or I will be responsible for my own mutiny.
Reluctantly, I pull away from Ruth. She gazes up at me with heavy-lidded eyes, but to my surprise, they are puffy and red. That wrings at my gut, and I take her chin in my hand, tipping back her face. "Tears? Why tears?" She shakes her head, unable to answer, and I don't like that haunted look in her eyes. She didn't like being in this room, I think, or perhaps she was afraid she'd be left behind again. I'll do anything to shake the sadness from her, so I run my thumb along her jaw and pitch my voice low. "I said I would come back, did I not? And now you owe me a washing."