He watches me drink, and that worried expression is still on his face. "I don't like deceiving Lord Straik. I know you don't think so, but he is a good male."
Sure he is. His “good male” abandoned my friends and the rescue party on the Star. What a great guy, I think sarcastically. A real fucking prince. I hold my now-empty glass out to Dopekh again. "If you don't like deceiving him, add me to the computer's database so I can help myself. I'll feed myself and you won't be involved."
His expression is uncertain. "But they will know I did it, Ruth."
"That's easy enough. Tell them I seduced you with my human wiles." I give him a lascivious wink. "You're all fascinated by tits, right? Tell everyone I let you touch one of mine in exchange for getting me into the system. Totally believable."
To his credit, Dopekh looks utterly horrified.
So horrified, in fact, that it hurts my feelings, just a little. "What? I'm not that gross."
He looks around the room and then back at me. "I like…males."
Well now. He looks a little bit ashamed of this fact, which makes me sad for him. "I won't tell anyone," I promise, and hold out my pinky. "Pinky swear."
He stares at my pinky and then lightly taps mine with his. Close enough. "Thank you, Ruth."
"Is it any guy in particular or just dicks in general?" I have to ask. "And…more water?"
"Right. Yes." He takes the glass from me and then gets the refill, then punches the code on the machines that makes a bowl spit out. A puck of dried noodles tings into the bottom of the bowl and then water starts to pour over it, filling the room with the delicious scent of real, hot food. My mouth waters. Dopekh heads for the door, looks around, and then returns to my side, satisfied. "As for who I like…it does not matter. It is not reciprocated."
"That's hard," I tell him as I take the glass from its spot on the machine. "Is it Straik?"
"Kef!" He practically chokes on the thought. "Of course not!"
"Someone else on the ship, then. Another guy like…you?" Whatever he is?
Dopekh nods slowly, and his eyes grow sad. "And it is wrong."
"I don't think it is. You're allowed to love who you love. There's nothing wrong with that…unless it's Lord Straik, because fuck that guy." I smile at him between sips, and I'm glad when I elicit at least one small chuckle from him. "I wish I could help you, though. It's hard when you love someone that doesn't love you back."
He gives me a small smile, and then his gaze fixes on the glass of water. Guilt crosses his face. "You're very thirsty."
"Incredibly." And dirty. And tired. And growing angrier at Straik by the day, but hey. One crisis at a time.
Dopekh thinks for a moment and then moves to the control panel across the room. "I'm going to get in so much trouble if they find out I've added you to the systems. Come over here and give me your handprint."
I practically skip with glee. "You won't regret this," I tell him. "I'll be so subtle and stealthy no one will suspect a thing."
I'm also lying my ass off.
Because the moment things are quiet? I'm totally climbing into Lord Straik's tub and taking a nice, long soak.
5
STRAIK
We're two days out from Risda III, and it's entirely possible I might lose my mind before then.
I pace the decks of the Darkened Eye, looking for problems. I pick at the ship's cleanliness, the fuel logs, the wrinkles in a particular crew member's uniform. I eat my meals with the crew, but because of my sour attitude, it's more uncomfortable than not. I'm determined to show them that I'm still with them, though. That I'm the same captain I was before we found the Star. I haven't changed. I'm not the monster they suspect me to be.
We're going to go back for the va Sithai brothers. I want to scream this at everyone. Of course we are. It's just…right now, I have them in a safe place. I know where they are and they'll be fine until I can figure out this whole situation.
Between the iciness from the crew and the constant feeling that even more is “off” than I'm aware of, there's the problem with my uncle. Lord Varrik va'Rin, First of the Name…isn't returning my requests for a vid-call. Relations between the sides of the family have been strained for a while, ever since he lost his mind and married a human slave. It ruined his political career and brought a stain on the house name. I remember how my mother screamed and shouted with anger when the news hit, and Lord Varrik refused to back down. He retired out to the farm planet he owns—Risda III—which is on the edge of known space.