“If you have to think about it this long, he really has to mean a lot to you. But please don’t forget that trust is the base of a working marriage.”
My eyes widened. “Mom, I never said anything about marrying Maddox.” Then I realized that it would be expected to do just that—marry him. My dating Giovanni was tolerated because he was my fiancé and our wedding date had been set. The ensuing scandal after our breakup was nothing in comparison to the waves a relationship with Maddox would create. Even if I didn’t care about the backlash for my reputation, I had to consider what it would do to my family. But even a relationship with Maddox seemed impossible at this point. I couldn’t see how we could make a future work.
“You don’t have much time to make up your mind, love,” Mom said softly. “You know what your dad has planned for the bikers he caught.”
“I know,” I said. “Uncle Matteo will pick me up and take me to the Famiglia prison.”
Mom pursed her lips. “Your dad mentioned it. I don’t think it’s a good idea to confront the man who did this to you.”
I smiled. “Don’t worry, Mom. The tables have turned. I’m no longer in their hands. I won’t break down now, not after surviving weeks of captivity.”
“I don’t doubt it. I marvel at your strength.” She paused. “If you ever want to talk about what happened between Maddox and you, then I’m here, you know that, right?”
I nodded. “Did everyone see the video of me?”
“Many did,” Mom said honestly. “Your dad tried everything to have it removed and eventually he did it.”
“The internet never forgets,” I said.
To think that I’d spent hours agonizing over the perfect image to post on Instagram. Eventually I’d have to watch the video and face the resulting scandal on my social media accounts. But not yet.
“You have nothing to be ashamed of. They forced you, and you looked proud and gorgeous despite the situation.”
“That wasn’t my choice,” I agreed. “But I slept with Maddox. Not because he forced me and not even because I hoped he’d help me escape if I did, but only because in that moment I wanted to.”
I wanted to get it off my chest.
For a second, Mom was unable to hide her shock but then she nodded. “I thought that might be the case, but I’d hoped I was wrong.”
I pursed my lips. “Because I was supposed to stay a virgin for marriage.”
Mom shook her head. “I don’t care about that, Marci.”
I wasn’t sure if Mom really meant it. Few things had changed over the years. Dad may have abolished the bloody sheets tradition once I got closer to marriage age, but many people still followed the old ways. Now it was made out to be the bride’s choice and not a duty she had to succumb to. But few girls had the guts to decide against the bloody sheets tradition and those who did were often seen as sluts who didn’t want to risk revealing their wanton ways. Sometimes a choice wasn’t one as long as society only regarded one decision as the valid one.
“But Dad does.”
“Your dad would prefer if you’d go to a nunnery and never get involved with boys at all.”
I bit back a smile. “But he accepted Giovanni.”
“Dad knew he’d have to let you go and allow you to grow up. When you chose Giovanni, he tolerated him because he was someone he knew and…”
“Could control.”
Mom shrugged. “Your father is controlling.”
“Maddox isn’t as easy to control. Will Dad ever accept him?”
“I don’t know. Maybe, but it’ll take time and a lot of work on Maddox’s part. Maybe you shouldn’t yet tell your dad that you slept with Maddox. It’ll only complicate things.”
“Do you really think he doesn’t suspect something?”
“Oh, I’m sure he does. But your dad is blind when it comes to you becoming a woman.”
“Men.”
Mom touched my hand. “Did you use protection?”
It took me a moment to realize what she meant and heat rose into my cheeks. “No,” I admitted.
Mom nodded, swallowing. “I’ll grab a pregnancy test for you today, then you can take it in case you don’t get your period.”
My period was due any day now. I didn’t have a regular cycle so it was difficult to say. “Thanks, Mom.”
My life had always been a carefully planned construct, an intricate entity I’d spent years structuring and building. It was nothing but a house of cards, I realized now. I always thought I had enough safety measures built into my plan of my future that even a few missing cards wouldn’t bring my house of cards to fall. Of course, I had never considered someone to barrel into my life and smash my house of cards to bits and pieces. All my cleverly laid ahead plans, suddenly on the verge of falling apart.