Matteo touched my shoulder. “I can do it.”
“No,” I croaked, shaking my head. I slanted a look at my boy, his face still buried in his palms. Amo had been there when the call had come in. His shock reflected my own. Despite being introduced to the Famiglia at his thirteenth birthday, I’d kept many horrid aspects of this world from him, by Aria’s request.
I got up from my chair in my office where we’d returned after a futile search. There wasn’t a trace of Marcella, nor of the members from Tartarus. They’d all crawled into their hiding holes, scared of what I’d do if I caught one of them. They’d sing like a canary, reveal every secret they never knew they kept. “I should go home now before word reaches Aria.”
I had already called a meeting for every man of the Famiglia who was close enough to be present tonight. Some of my Underbosses and their soldiers were too far away to join in the search.
Amo stepped up to me, gripping my forearm, his eyes harsh. “Let me be a part of the search and the destruction of Tartarus. I don’t want protection. I don’t need to be protected. I want to save Marci and kill every fucker who hurt her. I want to smash their bodies into a bloody pulp.”
He was almost my height and the fierceness in his gray eyes, my eyes, reminded me more of myself than ever before.
Protecting him wasn’t an option anymore. I nodded and squeezed his shoulder. I hadn’t been able to protect Marcella, and I could no longer protect Amo. “We’ll fight side by side.”
His expression filled with determination and pride. Maybe I should have let him be part of a mission before. This, his first real mission, was riskier than anything we’d been up against in a long time.
My heart rate picked up when I entered our mansion thirty minutes later. Matteo and Amo were close behind me, but this, telling Aria everything, was my burden. Valerio rushed down the steps, grinning, but one look at my face and his expression fell. “What’s wrong?”
I indicated Amo and Matteo to take care of him. He was too young for the gruesome details but he, too, needed the truth. Yet, my sole focus was Aria for now.
I followed soft humming into the kitchen where I found her. She was blowing on a steaming cup of tea while reading a magazine. I hadn’t expected to find her cooking. Aria was the worst cook in the world.
Her golden blonde hair was up in a messy bun, a few wayward strands framing her gorgeous face. Marcella had inherited Aria’s beauty and her eyes, but my black hair.
Aria and I’d been married for twenty-four years, longer than both of us had been without the other. She was still as beautiful as on our wedding day, maybe even more so. What made her even more beautiful was that she loved more fiercely than anyone else I knew, which was why this news would break her.
“Aria,” I forced out. Every fiber in my body revolted against disturbing her serenity with an ugly truth even I could hardly bear. I’d vowed to keep all harm from her and our family and failed horribly.
Aria turned with a soft smile which faded away at the look on my face. She knew me better than anyone, every twitch of my face and the meaning behind it. I could only imagine what my expression must have been like.
She set down her cup slowly, worry filling her eyes. “What’s wrong?”
How could I tell her? I wanted to lie to her, to protect her at least.
I wasn’t a man who shied back from an ugly truth or from anything else. I’d seen and done too much to be scared, but right this moment I was fucking terrified. “Do you remember the Jersey MC?”
Her brows pulled together. “You killed them all when I was pregnant with Marcella.”
My heart shriveled. Of course, she remembered. I’d acted out of sheer desperation and fury back then, not thinking about the consequences of my actions. I wanted to maim and kill, and these bikers had seemed like the perfect target. They had attacked Famiglia warehouses and killed my soldiers before so they were far from being innocent, but back then I’d have killed them even if that hadn’t been the case.
My actions had gone unpunished for decades, but now Marcella was paying for my sin.
“They rebuilt their chapter in the last few years.”
She nodded because I’d mentioned it to her on occasion, especially if one of their insane attacks had caused me a headache.
“Luca, you’re scaring me. What’s wrong? Why are you telling me all this?”
I moved toward her and touched her shoulders. “Marcella, they kidnapped—”
Aria took a step back, horror twisting her face. “No.”