“A hot cup of something sounds amazing,” I said. My wet clothes suddenly became clingy and cold in the air-conditioned house. “Maybe we should sit down here at the table, so I don’t drip all over your furniture.”
Cooper shrugged. “This furniture has seen worse than a little rainwater, for sure. But we can sit here if you want. Whatever you’re comfortable with.”
At least they were both being nice and friendly and hospitable. It was more than I probably deserved after the way I’d acted earlier in the evening.
Once we were all sitting around the kitchen table with hot mugs of cocoa that Coop and Nolan made together, Nolan cleared his throat and looked from Cooper to me. “I think we should start by apologizing to you, Poppy. We never intended to hurt you or to get caught up in our idiotic scheme. So I want to be the first one to say I’m sorry. I’m sorry, and I take full responsibility for my part in what happened.”
“I take responsibility, too,” Cooper nodded. “And I hope you understand how sorry I am, we both are, but I’ll say it now just to be sure—I apologize from the bottom of my heart, and I never, ever meant to hurt you.”
“What do you mean?” I started to feel flushed again, but not in a good way. Bringing up the most difficult, confusing, humiliating time in my life wasn’t ever going to be easy, but I didn’t think it would start out being so hard, either. “How would cheating help anyone?”
“We weren’t great in school, not like you,” Nolan said. “Homework and paying attention were never a priority to us until too late—when we realized we weren’t gonna do so good.”
“Exactly,” Cooper nodded. “And what else? We had no options left by the time senior year was halfway over? Suddenly get smart enough to ace the SAT? Study harder?” He let go of a short, bitter laugh. “Those things weren’t miraculously gonna happen. So we did what we thought we needed to do.”
Even though a part of me appreciated their honesty, and I absolutely appreciated their sincere apologies, I couldn’t stop myself from getting annoyed with them all over again.
Both men looked at me like deer caught in headlights waiting to see what would happen next.
“Are you okay?” Cooper wrapped his hands around the steaming mug. “I know it all sounds so stupid now, but at the time, we saw our only chance to do well enough and be with you slipping away.”
Now I tried and failed to bite back a bitter laugh. “Be with me? If that was the goal, y’all picked the worst way to go about it. Seriously, I didn’t want anything to do with you when it was all over. I didn’t even want to hear or speak your names.”
“We know,” Nolan said quietly. “And we understood almost immediately how badly we’d fucked up. But...”
“But it was too late by then,” Cooper finished for his friend. “And when we tried to apologize and explain, you—understandably—wouldn’t see us. You wouldn’t take our calls. So we didn’t have any choice but to give you the time and space you needed, even if it meant you ended up hating us for all these years.”
I took a sip of my too-hot drink and closed my eyes. As exhausting as it was to revisit all of those old memories and feelings, it was probably for the best that we finally had the long-overdue conversation.
Probably.
Maybe.
“Hate is a strong word,” I said. “I... I don’t think I could ever hate either of you. I didn’t hate you, and I didn’t forget you, but... but you’re right; I didn’t want to see or speak to y’all.”
“I’m glad you’re letting us tell you now,” Nolan gave me a sympathetic look. “I understand it ended up being hard for you.”
“You have no idea,” I huffed. “My dad didn’t speak to me for months. He still doesn’t treat me the same way he did before it all happened. And my mom tries to patch things over between us, but she always ends up taking his side in the end.” The hot prickly of angry tears irritated my eyes, and I had to turn away to get myself together again.
The last thing I wanted to do was start crying. Even if all of those old emotions threatened to overwhelm me at that moment, I drew on all my strength to keep them in check. Mostly.
“I just don’t understand why neither of you said anything at the time,” I continued once I was sure I could keep my tone steady. “Not to the principal or to my parents or to anyone. You both should’ve taken responsibility back and at least tried to clear my name, but you didn’t. That’s the part I have such a hard time forgiving.” I looked from Cooper to Nolan and back again. “I had nothing to do with it. No part in it at all. And y’all let me take the fall right along with you.”