I also don’t want to be that guy who follows a partner instead of talking about it.
And I know we need to talk about it. I just don’t know what to say.
What if he doesn’t want to be with me anymore, and he’s stringing me along for the rest of the year?
So instead of following Beck, I watch my boyfriend walk away.
I don’t know what I was thinking in taking advice off Zach. No offense to the guy, but before Grant, he hadn’t even had a relationship.
I’m gonna do this my way. I send Beck a text to stop by my room tonight, no matter how late it is, and then I get to work.
I’m not used to keeping my mouth shut, and if Beck doesn’t wanna tell me what’s up, then fine, but he needs to at least tell me it has nothing to do with us.
I swing by Cohen’s room and borrow his lame as fuck twinkle lights, set up my music through a speaker, and check I still have some massage oil. It’s the furthest thing from a romantic atmosphere, but it’s the thought, right? Maybe he just needs to relax.
I stare at my room, hit with the urge to abort this messed-up idea, when there’s a knock at my door. It’s only six, but of course Beck would show up when I’m borderline freaking out. I huff a breath, thinking if it’s anyone else, they’re going to get an earful.
It isn’t.
Beck looks dead tired, but he’s smiling which automatically makes me smile. I grab the strap of his bag and pull him inside. As soon as I have the door closed, I dump his shit on the ground and pull him into a long hug.
“What’s going on?” he asks, wrapping his arms around my waist.
I answer by squeezing him tighter.
All the worry from the last few days melts away as he turns his face and kisses my neck. And then— “What the hell have you done to your room?”
I start to laugh. “I was trying to be romantic, but it looks stupid.”
“Because romance is stupid.”
“Your face is stupid.”
He nips my neck and steps away. “I need to lie down.”
“Wait a minute.” Before he can get away, I pull his shirt up over his head.
“Fine, but you’re doing all the work,” he grumbles.
“I am, but we’re not fucking.”
I get him to lie on his front, then straddle his waist and grab my massage oil. I pour a generous amount onto his smooth, warm back.
Beck lets out a long groan as I get to work. “This is exactly what I needed.”
“I know.” I lean down to kiss the back of his head. “You know, I’ve been worried the last few weeks.”
His muscles tense under my hands. “Oh yeah?”
“Yeah. You’ve been weird, and I thought it might have to do with us.”
He starts to shake his head and sit up, but I press my palm between his shoulder blades and hold him in place.
“Calm down, Teddy.”
“It has nothing to do with us.”
I work for a minute without answering. “The thing is, when Zach suggested you were cheating on me—”
“What?”
“I didn’t buy it for a second. Geez, calm down. You’re supposed to be relaxing here.”
“That’s a bit hard when someone thinks I’m a cheater.”
“It’s Zach. He looks at things from a statistical point of view, not an emotional one. He also said because you wouldn’t tell me where you were going I should follow you, but when I was about to, I realized that’s kind of a fucked-up thing to do.”
“You … were going to follow me?”
“Yes. But then I remembered something.”
“I’m not a d-bag?”
“That, and … I love you.”
He rolls beneath me without throwing me off so I’m straddling his waist. “You want to say that to my face?”
“Need an ego stroke?”
“No, I’m giving you a chance to say that shit properly.”
My smile splits my face. “I. Love. You.”
“You poor bastard.” He wraps his arms around me and pulls down so I’m hovering above him.
“As I was saying, I remembered that, and I remembered that we’re a team, and I trust you, and if there’s something you’re keeping from me it must be for a good reason. So you can keep your secret, but you also need to remember that even when something doesn’t have to do with me—” I take a deep breath. “—it still has to do with us. That’s the deal.”
“Because we’re a team.”
“Exactly.”
Beck holds me close and rolls us so he’s on top. His blue eyes stare down at me with awe. “Why are you so sweet and levelheaded? It’s yucky.”
“Well, my boyfriend’s ridiculous, so I don’t have much choice.”
He presses a kiss right over my heart, and when he pulls back, he looks a little more serious. “I might have picked up some more classes.”