“Who?”
“Matt has officially signed with OTS. I thought he would’ve told you.”
“Nah, haven’t heard from him since he went back to Philly.”
“I’m going to be the main agent on Matt’s case because he requested me, but with his high profile, they’ve got a senior associate on it too. They want to play up the almost-famous gay baseball player representing the infamous gay football player angle.”
“Congrats. That’s awesome.”
“Watch out, Matt and I will be the next couple the tabloids ’ship together. And we already have a celebrity couple name thanks to you. We’ll be the Matt Damon of football.”
“I’ll kick Matt’s ass if he comes near you. He says I have a free pass after what happened in college.”
Damon hums a low moan. “I love it when you’re jealous.”
My eyes roam over him. “I love it when you’re home early.” I pull him toward me.
His stomach rumbles. “Dinner first?”
We did barely eat this weekend. “Want me to cook or—”
“Nope. We’re going out for dinner. Somewhere nice.”
I groan. “Do I have to wear a tie?”
“I can help with that.”
Damon’s already wearing a suit, so when I get dressed, he approaches with a thin black tie of his. He smiles as he slides it around my neck and starts to tie it.
“I’ve heard it’s easier to tie it on yourself and then slip it off loose,” I say.
“I know, but then I wouldn’t be able to touch you—like when I did this at Chastity’s wedding. I was looking for an excuse to get close to you. Your tie wasn’t even crooked … much.”
“But you avoided me after you found out about my dream.”
“You were freaking out. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
“I almost kissed you then—when you were tying my tie—even though no one was watching. The kiss on the dance floor had nothing to do with putting on a show and everything to do with the fact I wanted to kiss you.”
Damon finishes and tightens the tie around my throat. “I’ve never been so glad that you were an asshole to your high school girlfriend.”
I lean in and do what I wanted to outside that church almost three months ago. My mouth claims his. He cups the back of my head and presses our bodies together.
He didn’t bring up the whole moving in together thing again this weekend, but part of me wonders if the constant sex was his way of trying to convince me living with him would be awesome. And it would be. There’s just something holding me back. Maybe it’s what has always held me back—that inexplicable restlessness I’ve had forever. The thing is, though, when I’m with Damon, I don’t feel restless. I’m content. I’m happy. It’s the happiest I’ve ever been.
Then why am I holding back?
“We should get to dinner,” he murmurs.
I nod. “Yep. Dinner.”
***
With a hug and a promise to keep in touch, Cheri goes back to being my flighty aunt who travels with the circus. Okay, not circus, but psychic fair is still close enough. I’m thankful to have gotten to know her better over the last few weeks, but my parents will always be my parents. I make a mental note to visit them more often. I owe it to them to be more present in their lives. Call more. Visit more. The thought of going back to Clover Vale no longer makes me antsy. Whether it’s because I no longer have to keep up with a stupid lie or I have closure on why I never fit in, I’m not sure. Maybe a bit of both.
I finally have my apartment back, and the first thing I do is use my shower which has hard water pressure and a wide enough head to actually do its job. The shower in Damon’s apartment is the worst … unless he’s in there with me.
Even though I’m used to Damon’s apartment being empty a lot, the silence when I get out of the shower makes me uneasy. I don’t like it. It makes my studio apartment too spacious, and I didn’t think that was possible. For a small space that’s full of furniture, it’s never been this bare.
It’s not until I’m halfway through making my dinner that I realize I’m cooking enough for two people. Habit I’ve picked up over the last few weeks, I guess. Instead of wasting the leftovers, I decide to take the food to Damon’s place. Just because I’m not agreeing to move in with Damon, doesn’t mean I can’t take my boyfriend dinner after his final today. He’ll put in some hours at OTS and will come home late, so he most likely won’t eat.
When I’m finished making dinner, I put it in a microwaveable container and head to SoHo, but Damon’s not in his apartment when I use the key I still have.