Biting my lip, I close my eyes and try to imagine a day where there’s nothing holding Brody and me back.
I ride my fingers while Brody murmurs encouraging words. It adds to my fantasy that one day we’ll have it all. No restraints, no anxiety. Just us.
“Anders, I’m going to need you to hurry up or I’m going to come from watching you.”
I tremble, because I could make myself come like this.
“Need you,” Brody pleads.
That’s all it takes to get me moving. I position myself on top of him and line his cock up with my hole. Then I send a prayer up to the ass gods and just hope I’m truly ready for him, because he’s not small.
As if reading my hesitance, Brody says, “Take it slow.”
I sink down on him, and we both let out a shuddery breath. Brody mimics my breathing as I take deep gulps, waiting for the sting to disappear.
“You got this,” Brody says, his voice tight. “I might not, because holy fuck, you’re so tight, but you got it.”
With a little laugh, I take more of him.
“Holy hell,” he mutters.
Brody’s hands tighten around the straps of his restraints, something he does when he doesn’t know whether to embrace them or fight against being held down. His muscles tighten, his face flushes, and lust clouds his eyes.
I move on top of him slowly, waiting for the sting of stretching around him to go away. The expression on Brody’s face every time I take a little more of him inside me makes me melt just that little bit more.
It’s not the first time I’ve tried bottoming since my attack, but it is the first time it’s gotten this far.
I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be full, stretched to the point of pain but only craving more.
With my hands next to Brody’s head, I lean down and take his mouth. I like kissing him. Like leaving beard rash on his chin.
The marks I leave when we’re together are accomplishments of sorts. Not that I’ve made him mine or that I’m marking him but that they’re evidence that I’m doing this. I’m taking control of my life and living instead of hiding.
Brody’s hips thrust upwards, his cock pegs my prostate, and I call out.
“Oh, fuck.”
“Shit, are you okay?” Brody asks.
“Do it again.”
He laughs. “I’ll take that as a yes.”
I move with him, meeting his thrusts and getting lost in the sensation of being on top of him, his cock inside me.
With Brody being tied up, I’m able to get lost, get out of my head, and just feel.
And being with Brody feels fucking amazing.
I’m able to relax completely, taking him all the way inside me until he’s so far past incoherent, I don’t know if his curses are even in English anymore.
I’ve missed being able to have sex uninhibited and free. I sit upright and ride him, not a warning sign or moment of self-consciousness in sight.
And it’s so fucking beautiful I could almost cry.
But something could make it even better. The idea sends butterflies fluttering in my stomach, and a little anxiousness creeps in. To pull it off though? Nothing would make me happier.
I slow my hips and sink down on him one last time until I’m fully seated.
“What’s wrong?” Brody asks breathlessly.
“Nothing.” I’m just as breathless.
I run my hand down Brody’s chest, feeling his erratic heartbeat. “I want to try something.”
“What?”
Leaning over, I reach for one of his cuffs.
“Anders.” He sounds panicked almost.
“It’s okay. It’s only one.”
He turns his head and watches as I undo the buckles on his left wrist. “Are you sure?”
“I trust you.”
Brody stares up at me warmly.
I place his hand over my heart. “Can you keep it there?”
He nods.
Slowly, I start moving again, fucking myself on his cock. His hand remains where I left it—right over my heart. It’s the piece of me that might have always been his but that my head wouldn’t allow me to acknowledge.
“It’s beating so fast,” Brody whispers.
“That’s all because of you. Because of us.”
It doesn’t take long for the need to go faster to take over. Our grunts and the slapping of our bodies meeting are the only sounds in the room.
Where orgasms usually build and ebb and flow until we spill over, Brody’s hits out of nowhere with no warning.
He shudders beneath me, calling out and emptying into the condom inside me. I reach for my cock, and it only takes three strokes for me to lose my load all over Brody’s stomach.
I slump forward, burying my head in the crook of Brody’s shoulder. His free hand wraps around my back and trails down my spine.
“That was—” Brody starts, but stops when I tremble and sniff loudly.
Shit, I really am crying.
“What’s wrong?” Brody asks, panicked.
He struggles, and I remember one of his hands is still restrained.