“Hey.” His tone and demeanor make my blood turn cold.
“What’s wrong?”
“So, uh, after I threatened to fire Alan louder than I intended to, he’s already been onto his legal department and is trying to keep me locked to his firm.”
I sit up. “Instead of talking to you about it, he got lawyers involved?”
“Yup.”
“What an asshole.”
“I think he’s trying to scare me into stepping back, which is pretty stupid considering I’m doing that anyway because of you.”
“Because of me?”
Talon glances away. “I was wrong earlier. When I said I was going to do it with or without you. It’s both of us or nothing.”
My lips form a thin line, because I don’t know what to say to that.
“I don’t mean that in terms of us. Just … yeah … maybe we do need more time before taking the next step, and we should do it together. We should both be ready. We’re good, right? You and me?”
I know Talon’s waiting for me to respond, but I’ve got nothing. We are good. Everything up until this morning is what I’ve wanted with him for years. Then why does it feel like the beginning of the end? I’m scared to take the next step because it’s going to make us face obstacles we might not be able to survive.
I force myself to nod, but it doesn’t appease him. If anything, his concern line across his forehead deepens.
“I’m gonna get the next flight to L.A. tonight and set up meetings for tomorrow to sort this shit.”
“L.A.?”
“I’m going above Alan’s pay grade for this one. He’s creating more drama than what he’s worth.”
Impulsive as always. “Talon … You owe your career to that man.”
“I owe my career to years of training and hard work. All he did was paperwork.”
I sigh. “I understand you’re mad, but maybe you should think about this. Creating a rift between you and your agent isn’t the best way to spin positive press when we’ll have so much negative coming our way.”
“I’m not the one who has to think anything through. I know what I want. While I’m sorting this agent crap, you should take the time to work out what you want. Because up until a few hours ago, I thought we were on the same page.”
“We are,” I argue. “I just want you without having to defend to the outside world why you’re everything to me. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.”
Except we both know that it is.
Talon approaches and kisses my forehead. “I already had to decide if what we have is worth facing that. Now it’s your turn. I’ll text you when I land.”
* * *
Waking up without Talon next to me is already weird and unnatural.
My body is in training mode, telling me to get up and go for a run even without Talon being on my ass about pushing harder.
Days of running does little to clear my head, but my leg feels good, and even though it has taken an obscene amount of time, I’m finally getting back to my old self—the one who knew he had to train to stay on top of his game.
Talon and I text back and forth, but it’s mainly agent related. He doesn’t push me to make a decision, and I don’t tell him my fears are still the same.
He’s getting the runaround and is about to lose his shit. He refuses to tell me what they’re saying in those meetings though, and if I had to guess, I assume they’re telling him that I’m right. He shouldn’t come out. Only their reason would be pure greed over Talon’s lost endorsements. Because Talon has to know that this will lose him some campaigns. It’ll probably gain him some too, but I can see some of them walking. They’ll use terminology like “negative publicity” to describe it instead of “we’re homophobic assholes,” but it won’t change the outcome.
College Miller wants to slap current me upside the head and tell me to chase after him and be there for him through all of this, but I don’t listen to that voice, and I can’t even say why.
When I’m with Talon, it’s not only that everything is right, it’s like everything else I’ve ever done without him was wrong.
But I’m scared being put under a microscope will be too much, and then I’ll be left with nothing and the entire world wanting to know every sordid detail of my and Talon’s sex lives. Not to mention all the shit that will follow.
Women from our past will come out of the woodwork telling their story, and there’s nothing we can do to refute those claims, but telling the media it was all harmless fun and shouldn’t have an impact is being naïve. Being on the queer spectrum will bring all the sexual deviant slander out, and add in threesomes and orgies? It’ll perpetuate a stereotype that doesn’t even fit who we are as a couple.