“Does that mean you’re a top?” Talon’s voice is getting sleepy now, so I continue to humor him.
“No, it means I didn’t trust any of those guys or have the guts to ask for what I wanted. I’d let you top me. Every time I was with another guy, I thought of you.”
“Mmm, I thought of you too.”
“When you were with guys?” I quip.
“Funny. But no. When I was with girls, I always thought of how much fun it’d be if you were there with us.”
“You never had another guy in your bed?” I’m not sure if I want to know the answer.
“Like you, I didn’t trust anyone enough. One girlfriend—the one my family refers to as The Model—”
“Moxie Burgen?”
“Ah. Saw that in the news then, huh?”
It’s one of the only few times I’ve heard bashfulness come out of Talon’s mouth.
“You were being pegged as the next Tom and Giselle. Automatically hated her.”
Talon chuckles.
“So, what’s her deal? Your family not like her?”
“What do you think? They teased me mercilessly about her because of the Tom and Giselle power couple thing.”
I’m doing a sucky job of hiding my jealousy, but just in case Talon hasn’t caught on yet, I keep going. “What kind of name is Moxie, anyway?”
“A fake one. Her real name … are you ready for it? Plain ol’ Melanie.”
I mock gasp. “Scandalous.”
“But yeah, I brought up the subject of threesomes with her once. She thought I was asking for a three-way with another girl. When I said it could be another guy if she wanted, she became confused.”
I have to try really hard to keep from laughing. “What, she wasn’t smart enough to know what goes where?”
“Not at all. She’s actually insanely smart. Very business oriented, almost to the point of boring. She was confused as to why I’d want to jeopardize our careers like that.”
“Huh.” Score one for the supermodel. “Can’t say she didn’t have a point.”
“I know, I know. Heard it all before. We didn’t last long after that. And she’s the only person I was close enough with to ask, but come to think of it, I don’t even think I liked being with her. Nothing against her—she’s a great girl. Just … not my type, I guess. I was with her because it was the thing to do. Star quarterback with the Victoria’s Secret model.”
“It’s a hard life,” I say dryly.
“You know what I mean.”
“I do,” I say solemnly. “A lot of people do something because they think it’s the norm. It’s staying true to yourself when you don’t meet social expectations that’s hard.”
“That’s deep,” Talon says sleepily.
“That’s what he said.”
Talon laughs, but there’s no energy behind it.
“Go to sleep. We’ll talk more in the morning.” I can’t help smiling in the dark as I drift off.
Chapter Seventeen
TALON
I can do this. It’s just sucking a dick. I’ve received countless blowjobs before, and no one ever choked to death, so it can’t be that hard.
Hmm, maybe I should start small. Like a handjob.
Maybe you should wake him up first before you do anything.
Oh, right. That too.
It’s been months of thinking about this, of wishing our FaceTime calls were in person, but now it’s here, I’m more nervous than the first time we ever took a girl up to my room.
Even though that was probably the most awkward sexual encounter I’d ever had with Miller, it was the start of something indescribable—a feeling I’ve been chasing and haven’t found since graduating USC.
We were both fumbly that first night, not really knowing what to do. It started as a taunt. Seems to be a theme with Miller and me.
Miller rolls onto his back, and the sheet slips down the body I’ve always admired from a professional perspective, but—wait … do truly straight guys stare at other guys and appreciate them? I always thought so, but now, I’m not sure.
“If you’re gonna puke, use the bathroom.” Miller’s eyes are still closed, and his voice is strained from sleep.
“Huh?”
One of his eyes cracks open. “I can sense you hovering, and I don’t wanna be covered in vomit.”
“I wasn’t that drunk.”
“Dude, you called Jackson your pet unicorn.”
I laugh. “He is my unicorn. Without him, we so would’ve lost the game last night.”
“You threw imaginary glitter at him and yelled ‘Be majestic, bitch!’” Miller stretches, his long arms reaching above his head and making every muscle in his torso contract.
I run my hand over his chest, my fingers tracing every hard line. “I don’t remember that. But I do remember a certain promise you made to me last night.”
Miller’s dark eyes fill with heat. “Yeah?”
I take a deep breath as I move on top of him. “I’m one hundred percent sober right now.”
Miller lifts his hips and grinds his body against mine. “Uh-huh …”
“And I want to taste you,” I whisper.
Miller locks eyes with me and nods. Leaning in, he lifts his head until our lips are almost touching. “Explore me. Use me. Take whatever you want from me.”