A few months ago at Talon and Miller’s wedding, Soren was one of the first to say no to kids.
Now suddenly we have hypothetical grandchildren.
But I haven’t said anything. It’s for future me to deal with.
Soren’s arms trail down my naked torso. “Hey, what does this remind you of?”
“Stop fucking touching me. I can’t have a hard-on for this video.”
But it’s too late. I can’t help thinking of our time in Fiji. The wind in my hair as we sped across the water. Soren’s hand in my shorts, stroking my dick until I came everywhere.
“God, I hate you,” I mutter and try to think of unsexy things.
Like my brothers. Umm, chicken. My brothers eating chicken.
Okay, that works.
The director steps up to us. “All right, guys. We’ll run playback, but I don’t want you lip-syncing this shot.”
“What will we be doing, then?” I ask.
“I want you looking back at your partner, and, Soren, you need to lean forward a bit to catch the right light. It’ll feel awkward, but it’s best for the camera. You’re to look like you’re about to kiss without actually kissing.”
Soren smiles. “I dunno if it’ll be possible not to kiss him when he’s that close, but I’ll try.”
The director huffs impatiently and stalks back behind his camera.
I elbow him. “We need to be professional.”
“Hey, you’re the musician here. I’m just an extra in this video.”
“If you distract me, we’re gonna be here all night, so please behave?”
Soren’s lips purse. “Isn’t that usually my line? Oh, how the tables have turned. Is this what it’s like to be you? I could get used to it.” He playfully runs his hand down my side.
I shiver from his touch, recoil when he hits somewhere I’m ticklish, and get frustrated that we can’t get out of here and do this elsewhere.
“Well, don’t get used to it, because you know I can only hold my maturity together for short periods of time, and I really, really, really wanna go home so we can fuck.”
Soren wiggles behind me as if to get comfortable and clears his throat. “Best behavior. Promise.”
Knew that would pull him back in line.
“We’re rolling,” the director says.
The playback begins, and Harley’s voice fills the room. I try to contain my wince, but our whole situation makes me cringe.
Soren, the only man in this world for me, cups my face and whispers, “Hey. It’s just you and me.”
He knows me like no one else. He knows I’m not comfortable even though this is my job and I fucking rock at it—pun intended. Signing on to do a duet with Harley was a great move for my career, but I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t suck tying my career to Harley’s for the foreseeable future.
We’ll have to talk about each other, do talk shows and other media commitments together, and make surprise guest appearances at one another’s concerts.
It’s not that I hate the guy or even still have feelings for him, but I want that part of my life closed off from what I have now, which is happiness I never knew could happen to me.
Watching my brother Matt fall in love with Noah, I knew that type of forever existed in the world, but after three years in the music biz and being treated like a rent boy by fans and management alike, I figured it would never happen for me. Not while I was living this life.
Then Soren comes barreling back into existence after years of trying to pretend we didn’t mean anything to each other.
Staring into the warm, honey-colored eyes of my boyfriend, I can’t imagine being without him ever again.
And now he’s finished out his last season and is retired, I don’t have to.
We keep staring at each other for the cameras, barely moving and slowly tilting our heads as if we’re going to kiss.
Soren’s lips part slightly, and he’s right. This is going to be hard to have him right there without being allowed to close the small gap and touch my mouth to his.
I knew from our first kiss that Soren would change my life. I just didn’t know how.
He makes my breathing shallow, my heartbeat erratic, and his touch makes my soul want to spout sonnets about belonging to him.
What we have is intense.
The way he cares for me, claims me, the way he’s piercing me with his gaze right now … his love is palpable.
Soren blurts something that sounds like “Merry men.”
At the same time, the director says, “And cut.”
I cock my head at Soren. “Merry men? Like, Robin Hood’s fuck buddies?” What’s that got to do with anything?
Soren’s eyes widen, and he turns his attention to the director. “We good?”
“Yup, got the shot. Let’s move on. This time, Jay, I need you lip-syncing and looking at the camera while acting like you’re speeding across the water. Soren, just be natural. Kiss his neck, shoulder, whatever.”