“Get your shit together,” I uttered to myself, wanting to wash away the day and the booze. I walked into my bathroom to take a quick shower, and after I pulled my shirt off, I remembered I’d left my toiletries in Christian’s bathroom. The drain in my shower was clogged, and I’d forgot to pick up Drano to fix it.
Grabbing a beer out of the fridge first, I made my way into his bedroom and stopped dead in my tracks when I saw her.
Sleeping.
Peaceful.
Fucking beautiful.
Christian gave her a key to our place in case we lost ours, and I was beyond grateful for it. Especially then. Her head was on a pillow, wrapped in a throw blanket she’d bought me for my twenty-fourth birthday last month. She must have gone into my bedroom and grabbed it before she’d fallen asleep in her brother’s bed.
Over the last year, since she’d turned seventeen, I’d kept her at arm’s length. Pushing her away was the only way I knew how to live. She wasn’t mine and never would be, yet I couldn’t stop myself from picking her up and carrying her into my bed with me. Softly, I laid her on my pillow, watching her for a minute.
Fuck, she was gorgeous.
There was no resisting the urge to feel her beneath my body. Careful not to wake her, I laid on top of her and caged her in with my arms around her face. She fit seamlessly against my chest.
“Kid,” I whispered, faintly rubbing my lips on her mouth.
“Mmm…” she groaned, stirring awake.
“Wake up, Sleeping Beauty.”
Her eyes fluttered, but sleep won out.
“Autumn, if you wake up, I’ll give you anything you want.”
“Mmm-hmm,” she hummed as I kissed my way down her neck.
Once I reached the top of her breasts, I lightly bit her hard nipple through her dress. Her breathing hitched, and her eyes snapped open, big and wide. Coming face-to-face with the last person she expected to see hovering above her.
The world seemed to stop spinning, stop moving, and time just sort of stood still for us. In the last year there were times I couldn’t help myself and gave into the temptation that was her mouth.
We’d kissed.
Made out.
Nothing went further than dry fucking. Anytime we got close, my reaction was to push her further away the next time I saw her. She hated me for it but loved me way more. I was toxic for her—she was poison for me. With the way I was feeling that night, I needed her in a way I’d never needed anyone in all my life.
Her warmth.
Her comfort.
Her love.
Home.
Despite the dim lighting in my room, I could still see her bright green eyes grasping the compromising position we were currently in.
“How did I get in here?”
“I carried you.”
“Oh.” Her eyebrows pinched together. My demons might have been silenced by her presence, but Autumn’s was lying right on top of her. “Why?”
“Because I wanted you in my bed.”
She searched for something in my gaze, narrowing her eyes. “I must have fallen asleep.”
“Why were you waiting for Christian?”
“I wasn’t. I was waiting for you.”
“For me?”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. I was heading home from a study group, and out of nowhere it felt like you needed me. By the expression on your face, Julian, I was right. Are you okay?”
“I am now.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“You never want to talk about anything.” She placed her hand over my heart. “Please don’t push me away. Just let me in.”
“Kid, I’ve let you in so much I don’t know how to kick you out.”
“I’m not a little girl anymore.”
“I can see that.”
“I’m eighteen now.”
“I know how old you are, Autumn.”
Almost immediately my mind battled my heart, raging a war I never had a chance to survive. It was her innocence and vulnerability that were eating me alive, swallowing me whole. There was no denying our connection, and for the first time in our relationship, I sought refuge within her.
“Will you tell me later?”
“There’s nothing to tell.”
“Julian…”
“Don’t whine, kid. I don’t like it.”
“I’m not whining. I’m just trying to be here for you.”
“You are. You’re lying beneath me. It’s all I need right now.”
“Have you been drinking? You smell like whiskey.”
I smiled, rubbing my lips against her mouth.
“Have you eaten?”
“No.” I grinned. “Are you offering?”
She giggled. “You’re drunk.”
“And you’re breathtaking. Do you know that? Do you have any idea how fucking beautiful you are?”
She blushed, making her freckles much more enticing.
“Those freckles of yours are going to be the end of me.”
She rolled her eyes. “I hate them. I can’t wait to get them lasered off.”
“Your long red hair and the scattered freckles on your nose and cheeks are two of my favorite traits about you. Don’t ever change, Autumn. You’re perfect just the way you are.”
She blushed again, biting her bottom lip.