I stared at her, waiting.
“Fine. Alright? I’ll take some stupid pictures.”
“Great.” I got dressed while she called her stylist, telling her she needed a few pieces for the shoot.
I couldn’t believe I was doing this for her. I hadn’t dressed like this since I’d left Texas. I didn’t even own a pair of jeans, let alone a fucking t-shirt. Once I was ready, I stared at the man in the full-length mirror, not recognizing who was staring back at me. It was as if there was a stranger in my reflection, one I hadn’t seen in over a decade.
The knock on the door yanked my mind back to the present, and for the next two hours, I shot photo after photo after photo.
Saving the best for last.
Gesturing toward Autumn, I ordered, “Come here.”
She’d changed into a soft yellow floor-length dress, reminding me of all the times she’d dressed like that for me. The annoyed expression on her face didn’t bother me in the least as I pulled her in between my legs since I was sitting on a stool. Her hair was in a low bun with a clip, and I reached up and freed her long red locks. Grateful she still wore it long, it was one of my favorite features about her appearance.
“I always loved your hair down.”
When my thumb began wiping the makeup off her cheek, she jerked back. “What are you doing?”
“Your freckles, I want to see them. Do you remember how much I used to love them?”
“Julian—”
“If you want the world to see me as who I used to be, then I get to show them what my favorite trait about you is.”
She narrowed her eyes, taking in what I disclosed. I could see the hesitation in her gaze, knowing I was the reason it was there to begin with. She used to look at me with nothing but love, but now it was somewhere between hate and lust.
“This was always my favorite color on you. Remember all the times you wore yellow for me?”
“No.”
If it were even possible, she was more stubborn than she used to be. I didn’t expect her to welcome me with open arms, I had my work cut out for me, and I was alright with that. If she thought she could get rid of me that easily, then she was in for one hell of a rude awakening.
I wasn’t going anywhere but back into her life where I belonged. At least we were headed in the right direction. The photographer snapped away, and Autumn was so entranced by the way I was looking at her, she didn’t notice. She was lost in my truths which were on full display for her.
When she was a child, she could always see right through me. As she got older, I had to hide myself from her, or she would have known how I felt before I was ready to tell her.
The truth was, I was never ready to tell her.
The longer I hid my emotions, the harder it was to push her away. I hated seeing her cry, it was one of the hardest things I had to endure, and I’d been through a lot of bullshit in my life. Her tears were my undoing—they were always my defeat.
With my thumb, I rubbed her lips in a back and forth motion, and her breathing hitched.
I wanted to kiss her.
Claim her.
Though not like this, in a fucking photoshoot of all places. I had to wait—it wasn’t the right time.
Would there ever be one?
“You’ve always been such a beautiful girl, Autumn, but now as a woman, you’re truly stunning.”
She swallowed hard, hearing the sincerity in my tone. She was captivated by my honest expression and the feel of my hands on her.
“What are you doing to me, Julian?”
“I’m loving you, kid.”
My statement broke the spell I had her in, and she shook her head. Glancing back at the photographer who was still snapping photos, she said, “You can’t use any of those pictures.”
“Autumn,” I coaxed in a stern voice when all of a sudden, a woman appeared out of nowhere, walking into the shoot.
“Julian, I saw your name on today’s itinerary. Of course, I had to come say hello.”
Our attention drifted to the woman in question, realizing all too quickly, who she was.
And when I used her…
To push Autumn away.
Chapter THIRTEEN
—Autumn—
Then
This was the first time I was going to see Julian since he’d kissed me two weeks ago. I still felt his mouth on my lips, and sometimes I’d catch myself touching them to feel him all over again. I couldn’t wait to see him. I was wearing a yellow maxi dress, anxiously waiting for his arrival.
It was my seventeenth birthday, and my parents were throwing me a huge party. I knew he’d be here. He wouldn’t miss it.