“Like you’re not already?” Roe teased before, “Yeah, parts of Harmony are frustrating, but others I can’t live without. You take the bad with the good anywhere, I imagine.”
“I guess. Speaking of—”
“Well, if it isn’t Monroe Covington and Holden…”
“Barnett,” Holden finished.
“I’m Mandy Turner. I work at the Do’s and Toes across the street. We do hair and nails. My goodness, I heard you were handsome, but I had no idea the rumors were this right.”
Holden shook her hand, and all Roe could think was yep, he agreed with her.
“Thank you,” Holden replied, his eyes shooting toward Roe, then back to her. This definitely hadn’t been a good idea. Why hadn’t he just taken Holden home so they could get to the orgasms Holden had promised him?
The thing was, he enjoyed Holden’s company too. He wanted to spend time with him, get to know him more.
Mandy chatted for a moment before her friend, who seemed to be waiting for Mandy before leaving, called her over.
“It was nice to meet you, Holden. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask.”
“Nice to meet you too,” he replied.
They were looking at the menu when Roe said, “Mandy’s a lot, but she’s a good woman. Shit taste in men. Looking for love in all the wrong places. She deserves better.”
“That’s too bad. Marilee was always the same.” There was an edge of sadness to his voice that Roe wanted to wipe away. He hadn’t meant to remind him of his sister’s troubles, so he decided to change the subject.
“Cheyenne’s grandma is Mama Adaline. This is the longest-running Black-owned business in Harmony. Cheyenne’s going to school to be a nurse. Smart girl, good head on her shoulders. Jerome Pritchard, who works for me, is half in love with her, but too embarrassed to talk to her most of the time.”
They browsed the menu while Roe shared snippets of Harmony life with Holden.
“Sorry for the delay. What can I get you guys?” their waitress Evie asked. She was Cheyenne’s mama.
Roe looked at Holden so he could order first. “I’ll take the chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes, and fried okra lunch special.”
That was a good choice. “I’ll take the same,” Roe said, and they handed their menus to Evie.
When they were alone again, Holden said, “Your family…they’re great. I can see why you wanted to be close to them. I appreciate your mom trying to make us feel welcome—me, Sean, and Marilee. Your mom loves you a lot. You can see that.”
Roe nodded. “Just so you know, you are welcome. She meant that. She doesn’t say somethin’ she doesn’t mean. And yeah…I’m probably closer to Mama than anyone. Not to make it sound like we don’t all get along, because we do, it’s just…” He wasn’t quite sure how to finish, was surprised he’d started saying this stuff at all. “As much as we all love each other, sometimes I feel like an outsider lookin’ in, if that makes sense. I don’t work the farm full-time. I moved away. I’m gay.”
“That’s understandable, Roe. And hell, I’ve spent my life feeling like an outsider in most situations, only I don’t have as good a reason as you. Not as an adult, at least, so don’t beat yourself up over it. I can see that’s what you’re doing. You feel guilty over something you have no business feeling guilty over.”
He did. Damned if Holden wasn’t right. “Thanks. It’s hard sometimes. I got into it with my brother Dennis. He was talkin’ about me being at an age where I should be settling down. He seems to think that because I get along so well with Lindsey, that me bein’ gay doesn’t matter. That I could be happy enough with her.”
“Shit. I’m sorry, man,” Holden replied. “Does he think he could be happy enough with a male buddy?”
Roe laughed. “Exactly. It’s hard for him to see it that way, though. Makes me crazy sometimes—that people conveniently forget that part of who I am. Like they can pretend I’m someone I’m not.”
Fuck, he hadn’t realized how much he’d needed to say that until he had. And not just say it to anyone either. As much as he loved Lindsey, there were some things Holden would understand on a level she never could.
“You deserve better than to pretend, and you sure as shit deserve better than being happy enough.”
Roe’s heart damn near stopped beating. He didn’t know what it was about Holden’s words, but they’d slammed into his chest, taken hold and root there, not letting go.
“And fuck, you’re forty-five, not a hundred. You have time.” Holden took a drink of his tea. “I know you want the family thing, the man to come home to. You’ll find the right one.” Holden’s gaze darted away, and he rubbed a hand over his chest absently.