I moved into the guest bathroom and turned on the showerhead, stepped under the heated spray. Closing my eyes, I tried not to picture her up there washing away the blood that stained her hands. Tried like fuck to just be thankful.
Gage was safe.
My brothers were safe.
Eden was safe.
But at what cost?
Juna.
Poor fucking Juna.
Wasn’t sure how I felt the grief of it, but I did. In the end, she’d made the ultimate sacrifice, and right then, I knew Eden was currently upstairs mourning her sister.
My thoughts spiraled to the rest. My mother. Her sweet voice. Nathan. His belief.
Agony clutched all while gratefulness throbbed.
I scrubbed my skin until it was raw and red, then I stepped out, toweled off, and pulled on a fresh pair of jeans and a tee.
My ribs clamped down when I heard the shower turn off overhead.
This ache so great that I wasn’t sure how I was going to make it through.
I wandered out into the main room. Not sure what to do. Where to go. Not when I wanted to go to the girl.
The girl who I felt pad up behind me.
Warmth spread like a flashfire.
Wrapping me like an embrace.
Like she could hold me the way I was dying to hold her.
Fuck. The only thing I wanted to do was curl into those arms, wrap her in mine, and never let go.
I could barely keep it together when I shifted a fraction to look at Eden standing on the other side of the island.
Dressed in a floral knee-length dress.
Hair soaked and skin damp and turmoil in those eyes.
Eyes the color of fallen leaves.
So fuckin’ beautiful.
Her sweet spirit written on my soul.
“You feel better?” I forced out.
Awesome. Small talk and a fucking foot in my mouth.
Like she was just going to feel better?
Could just wash the day away?
This fuckin’ nightmare?
Her throat tremored when she swallowed, the angles of her stunning face twisting in severity. “Trent—”
There she went again.
I turned my back, mumbled, “We should get you home. I need to go grab a few things. Going to stay at Logan’s until I find a—”
The book that went whizzing by my head and slammed against the wall cut off my words, and I whirled around to Eden trembling and shaking.
That gorgeous mouth quivered at the edges. “Don’t you dare, Trent Lawson.”
My brow furrowed in a pained knot. “Eden—”
Energy lashed.
A shockwave.
Thunder.
She lifted that defiant chin.
“Don’t you dare turn your back on me. Don’t you dare act like this didn’t happen to both of us. Don’t you dare try to put a wall between us.”
Agony clutched me by the throat. “And just what do you want me to do?”
Her head shook in disbelief as she clutched her chest. “Love me.”
A tormented scoff ripped up my throat. “Love you? Loving you isn’t the fucking problem, Eden.”
I was.
Who I was.
Emotion blasted from her body. Scattering. Slamming the walls.
An earthquake.
“Then what’s the problem, Trent? Tell me.”
Anger ignited.
Old, old anger that I’d held onto my entire fucking life.
I stormed her way.
Greed lit in the air.
Possession.
“I dragged you into my mess. Like I knew I was going to do. Tainted you. Ruined it all.”
Her head shook. “The only way you could ruin me is by walking away.”
My head angled as I got close to her face.
My senses were pummeled by that sweet, honeyed scent.
It was all mixed with the smell of me—my soap and my body and my hands.
Like there’d be no washing me off her.
My guts clenched, the same as my hands. “You killed a man today.”
Tears streamed from her eyes. Tears I knew had been falling straight for the last two days. Wanted to reach out and wipe them away.
Hold her.
Keep her.
Fuck.
I wanted to scream.
“I did, Trent. I did. And it was horrible. Horrible. But I don’t regret it.”
My face pinched, voice haggard. “That’s on me.”
Her mouth fell into a grim line. “No. It’s on him. He came looking for death, and he found it. He was going to hurt you, and I refused to let that happen. Because that…that is what would destroy me.”
Squeezing my eyes shut, I backed away. “Your sister…”
It was a confession. Disgust underscoring the words.
Whimpering, Eden pressed her arms tight over that sweet, sweet heart. “I’ll miss her forever.”
“On me.”
“No, Trent, that was also on her. I know. I know what she did. She betrayed you. Hurt you. Destroyed so much of you. And I might hate her for that, but I love her for everything else. For the days we spent as children laughing. For the glimpses of joy. For her bringing me you and Gage.”
Shame sliced right through the center of my being. “You can’t honestly say you can look at me and not see your sister.”
She sniffled, a heave of air rushing from her lungs. “Do you really want to know what I see when I look at you? You want me to see a monster, Trent. But I don’t. The only thing I see is a man who is willing to sacrifice. I see goodness. I see an amazing father. I see a sweet, vicious warrior. Someone who’s fought for me. For his son. For his family. And that’s what you are to me, Trent. Family. My life.”