So maybe it was for the best. If Ian hated him for betraying him, he would never touch him again. He would never kiss him or look at him as though Miles was the only thing in the world. They would move on with their lives, and eventually Ian would completely forget about some British kid he’d had a weird summer fling with.
But his stupid heart clenched at the thought, and Miles couldn’t. He couldn’t bear the thought.
He knew he had two options.
He could say nothing and allow Ian to believe that he’d betrayed him, that what they’d had wasn’t real. He would keep the Rutledges’ good opinion, Alexander wouldn’t tell Zach anything, and Miles would eventually forget about Ian. Maybe.
He could also fight for it—for them—and risk everything. There was absolutely no guarantee that he and Ian would ever work out. There was too much separating them. Just last week Ian had told him that it was a mistake, and nothing had really changed since then.
Miles almost laughed at his own thoughts. Who was he trying to kid here? Both options would likely make him miserable in the end, but only one of them had the potential for happiness, no matter how short-lived. Yes, it was a lot riskier too, but he was a Hardaway, dammit. If his brothers’ example had taught him anything, it was that one was the creator of their own destiny. Ian Caldwell would never be the safe option. But Zach hadn’t chosen the safe option when he’d left his fiancée for a bloke who refused to even admit that he had feelings for Zach. Miles and Ian might never become anything or their relationship might crash and burn within a few weeks, but Miles was going to regret it for the rest of his life if he didn’t even try—if he let it end on a misunderstanding.
Miles caught Ian’s arm, forcing him to look at him.
Ian sneered, something cold and cruel in his eyes. Before Ian could say anything cutting, Miles stepped forward and kissed him softly.
Someone in the room gasped.
Miles didn’t pay them any mind. This was too important. He couldn’t fuck this up.
Ian was rigidly still, like a taut string ready to snap.
Breathing in his scent shallowly, Miles pressed their cheeks together and said into Ian’s ear, “I never spied on you or told them anything. I could, but I never did. And you know why.” He pulled back to look Ian in the eye. He felt himself blush, knowing that now everyone in the room could hear him, no matter how quietly he talked. “I don’t give a shit if you really are as bad as Derek told me. I don’t care. Maybe that makes me a terrible person, but—”
“Miles,” Derek cut him off, his voice hard. “Please go to your room. I need to talk to Caldwell. Alone.”
Ian didn’t even glance at him, his sharp gaze on Miles, intent and searching.
Miles tried to convey with his eyes what he couldn’t say in a room full of people. I’m yours. I’m so gone on you I barely even notice anything else when you’re nearby. I don’t even care what an asshole you are. You’ve always been so good to me. I fucking adore you, despite all your arrogant, controlling ways.
He didn’t know if his face conveyed half of what he was feeling, but it must have conveyed something because the ice in Ian’s eyes melted a little. He just stared at Miles for a long moment before finally averting his gaze.
But Ian’s eyes hardened again when he looked at Derek. “Yes, Miles, go to your room. Fetch your suitcase.”
At a loss, Miles looked between Ian and Derek, the mutual dislike between them like a tangible thing.
“All right, what’s going on here?” Alexander cut in, his expression pinched.
“What’s going on here is that Caldwell’s taken his games too far,” Derek said, glowering at Ian. “I don’t know what you’re playing at, but leave the kid out of it. He didn’t do anything to you. I’m the one you have issues with.”
“That’s rich,” Ian said, chuckling. However, there was no trace of amusement on his face. “You never cared about hurting innocent people before.”
Derek grimaced. “Look, I’ve never even met your sister—”
“I’m not interested in your excuses,” Ian cut him off, his voice cold. “They won’t fix Amanda’s mental health or make her less of a laughingstock.”
“Then what do you want?” Derek snapped, his black eyes boring a hole in Ian.
A lesser man would have squirmed under that heavy gaze, but it didn’t seem to affect Ian at all. “I haven’t decided yet. I have more important things to do with my time.”
Shawn made a sound of disbelief.
Ian’s gaze flickered to him. His lips curled. “What, you thought I was plotting revenge against you for years like some tacky villain? Sorry to disappoint, but you aren’t that important. I grabbed the opportunity when I saw your company struggling. That’s all.” He shrugged. “It’s not my fault you didn’t bother reading the fine print.”