Just a Bit Ruthless (Straight Guys 6) - Page 51

Luke could only stutter and blush. He’d never really discussed his sexual fantasies and kinks with anyone other than Roman; talking about them with a woman who was his mother’s age was kind of embarrassing.

“Did you use safewords?” Miranda said.

Biting his lip, Luke nodded.

“Why do you think he gave you safewords instead of taking what he wants?”

Luke shrugged. “He told me he wasn’t into raping anyone, and I do believe him, but he probably also wanted to make me trust him.”

She smiled. “That’s what I mean, Luke: you’re capable of critical thinking when it comes to your captor, you question his motives instead of trusting him without reservation. That’s very good. That’s healthy.”

Luke cringed a little. “But I did trust him, at least in bed. He made me feel safe enough to…” His skin warmed.

Miranda didn’t seem fazed at all. “To roleplay rape scenes with him?”

Luke had never felt so mortified in his life. “Um…”

The look Miranda gave him was kind and a little amused. “Don’t be embarrassed, it’s nothing I haven’t heard before. A lot of the time, people’s fantasies lie outside the boundaries of what they believe they should feel, outside of what they think is normal. Rape fantasy or forced seduction fantasy is actually one of the most common sexual fantasies among both men and women. As long as both parties have given their consent and use safewords, there’s nothing wrong with such roleplaying.” She paused, regarding him calmly. “The fact that you felt safe enough with your captor to do that does indicate a degree of trust one doesn’t normally feel toward one’s captor, though. Can you explain why you trusted him?”

Luke shrugged, searching for words. “I—I don’t know. He did scare me in the beginning, but he was also…different from his men. I’ve always been a pretty good judge of character. I could tell he was cool-headed enough not to resort to physical violence without good reason.” He brushed a hand through his curls. He hadn’t straightened them that morning. He still wasn’t sure why. Clearing his throat, Luke continued, “Until his arrival, the guards sort of used me as a punching bag when they got drunk. He put an end to that, moved me to a comfy room, gave me food and…yeah.”

Miranda frowned a little. “And you started seeing him as your rescuer?”

Luke chuckled. “I’m pretty sure that was his objective. I mean, he never told me how he was going to use me, but I’m sure he wanted to manipulate me into needing him and trusting him. I figured if he was trying to make me trust him, it wasn’t in his interests to hurt me in the foreseeable future. In a twisted sort of way, the fact that I was suspicious of him made me feel safe with him physically. And well…” He dropped his gaze and cleared his throat again, looking at his fingers. “I was so attracted to him that I had trouble thinking. It was all instinct, to be honest.”

“I see,” she said, without any judgment in her voice. “Have you ever entertained thoughts of being in a relationship with him?”

Luke froze.

“Of course not,” he said after a moment, still looking down at his hands.

“Luke,” she said. “I need you to be honest with me. Are you being entirely honest now?”

“I am being honest,” he said sharply.

She said nothing.

He took a deep breath.

“Sorry,” he said, wincing. “It’s just…He and I…we…I always knew it wasn’t going anywhere. He’s everything I don’t want. My father was just like him: always busy, distant, cold-hearted, and manipulative. He never had time for my mother or me. We were basically strangers to each other. I don’t want that for my kids. I want love. I want a loving, attentive husband who will put me first. Someone who will take care of me.” He felt immense embarrassment as soon as he said that. Now Miranda had probably guessed that he had a daddy kink on top of his other weird kinks.

“You mentioned you’re dating someone,” she said.

“Sort of,” Luke said, relieved by the change of subject. “Dominic. He’s great. I mean, we’re not official yet or anything, but we’ve been on a few dates. We have common interests. He wants the same things as me.”

“I see.” She looked pensive. “Do you feel safe with him?”

Luke nodded. “Sure, he’s been very supportive and attentive.”

“Would you say you trust him enough to roleplay rape?”

Luke blanched. “What—” he said before coughing. “I’ve known him only for a month. It’s a bit early. We haven’t even done anything besides kissing.”

Miranda nodded, her expression unreadable. “Very well. I think that’s enough for today, Luke.”

“What?” he said, blinking. “But—but you didn’t do anything to…” Cure me of him.

She raised her eyebrows, looking at him.

“I have Stockholm syndrome,” Luke said hoarsely. “Make it go away. Please.”

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