Twenty-Eight
Julius
Roxy pats her bed. The sight of her doing so gives me pause. She looks so tiny in her big girl bed, yet I can see her growing like a wildflower in front of my eyes. I take the spot next to her, cross my ankles and wait for her to snuggle into my side. The book we are reading tonight, Rugby and Rosie, was a favorite of mine growing up. The pages are old, tattered, and the tape my mom added to fix a ripped page has yellowed with age. I start reading the story about two dogs, both Labradors. One is older. The other is a puppy. To some, the story is sad because a family brings a puppy home, but it’s only there to learn how to be a guide dog. I find the story heartwarming and genuine.
By the time I finish reading, Roxy is asleep on my chest with her mouth open and likely drooling. I stay there for a moment, relishing in her warmth and the love she has for me. I can’t imagine not seeing her every day and don’t understand how Elena can stay away from her children. It doesn’t make sense. I’m a wreck when I’m gone for an away game, checking in as often as I can, using every piece of modern technology offered so that I don’t miss anything with my kids. Yet, their mother doesn’t call every day or get on video chat. Days will go by until she reaches out or calls them back, and yet she expects me to hand them over to her. There is no way in hell I’m going to allow my kids to live anywhere but my home. I don’t know what I have to do to make this happen, but I’ll do it.
I slide out from under Roxy and place her teddy bear under her arm where I was. I’m shocked when she doesn’t wake up but also thankful. Sometime in the wee hours of the morning, she’ll climb into my bed and suction cup herself to my side. I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to her sleeping with me, but at this point, her comfort is far more important than my own.
Out in the living room, I sit down on the couch and flip the channels until I decide to leave the television on ESPN. I have hours until the news comes on again, having missed Autumn’s earlier segment. She doesn’t want to talk to me. I’ve gathered this much by her lack of response to my text message earlier. I deserve the cold shoulder, the silence she’s giving me. I haven’t handled myself very well since we slept together, and I know my actions make it seem like I used her. I didn’t, but I’m not sure how to convey this to her.
My phone vibrates, and my heart skips a beat, thinking it might be Autumn. With a quick glance, I see that it’s Noah. I’m at your door. Let me in.
“Hey,” I say as I open the door. “What are you doing here?”
Noah holds up a six-pack of beer and two bags, which smell like grease. “Peyton is at her group meeting tonight, and I thought I’d come to hang.” He walks in and heads right to the kitchen. I follow and place my hand over my stomach as it growls. Noah laughs.
“I gotta say, this is a surprise, but I’m damn thankful you brought Killer Burger.”
“The only thing that sucks about take-out is we don’t get bottomless fries.”
“I don’t care at this point.” Noah pushes the bag toward me while he twists the caps off two beers and I rip the bag of fries open, stuffing one in my mouth. The only thing missing is a chocolate shake. Noah takes the seat next to me, opens the other bag, and hands me my burger.
“What do I owe you?”
“Nothing,” he says.
I nod and take a few bites before setting it down. “So, why are you really here?”
Noah says nothing until he’s swallowed his food. “No reason. I went out for a burger, saw your building, and thought, what the hell? It’s been a while since we’ve done this.”
“And that’s it?” I’m certain Autumn told Peyton something.
“Yep,” he says. “Just came to chill and to see how you’re doing and to see how things went today.”
I need some liquid courage to get through the drama of the day. Noah is probably the only person I’d ever confide in about anything personal because I know he won’t say anything to anyone, aside from Peyton. He’s told me from day one he’ll never keep a secret from her. I admire that about him. Truthfully, I want what he and Peyton have. They’re so aware of each other. Anytime you’re in a room with them, you can sense their connection. Noah always knows where his wife is and is by her side if he feels she needs something. Elena and I were never in tune with each other like that.