“Have a seat,” she says, pointing to the blue sofa resting against the wall. I do as instructed and immediately look out the large window. The view isn’t much. We are three stories up and surrounded by old buildings that have been converted into office space.
“I’m Dr. Eileen O’Donnell. It’s nice to meet you, Julius. You can call me Eileen.”
“You as well,” I say. “Thank you for seeing me on short notice.” This morning, I woke up and went right to a lawyer my agent knows to take care of the paperwork needed to file for divorce. My agent’s office had done most of the work but needed someone local to look things over. According to my agent and this lawyer, Scott, everything seems cut and dry, as I expected. I signed the papers, and they assured me Elena would be served by the end of the day. I should’ve felt relief, but a sense of longing, sadness, and anger washed over me. How did my life and marriage come to this? A five-sheet packet of paper detailing our prenup agreement, her transgression, and the terms of what I want for custody.
“I’ve known Scott Perrigo for a long time. He said it was important that we talk. I’m here to help,” Eileen says. “Why don’t you start talking about how you’re feeling, and we’ll go from there.”
“I’m not sure what to say.”
She looks down at a piece of paper, and I wonder what Scott told her or what my agent told Scott. Eileen glances up and says, “Filing for divorce can be a hard thing to process, especially when you’re not ready.”
“I’m ready.” As soon as I say the words, my chest seizes. I shake my head slightly, angry with myself. I am ready, so why does it feel like I’m making a mistake?
“I understand that you have two children?”
“Yes, my son, Reggie, he’s eight, and my daughter Roxy is three.”
“And how are they doing with their mother being gone?”
“Reggie struggles. He misses her and is angry. As much as I try to block social media on his phone, his classmates share what they hear from their parents, so he knows his mom has a boyfriend. He feels like she’s chosen her boyfriend over him.”
“And what do you think?”
“I think he’s right. I believe my wife,” I pause at the sourness that comes from calling Elena, my wife. “My soon to be ex-wife is absent from the children’s lives. She’s trying to find her big break into acting and uses it as an excuse to stay away. But, when Reggie asks, I tell him his mom is working. He doesn’t buy it though. He’s smart. He knows what’s going on.”
“Probably a lot to take on for an eight-year-old.”
“It is,” I agree.
“And your daughter?”
“Still just a baby,” I say. “She doesn’t really talk about her mom a whole lot. Roxy will talk to Elena when she calls, but even the calls are sporadic. At first, I made it a point for the kids to call their mother each night before bed, but Elena wouldn’t always answer, and I found that to be extremely hurtful to them, so I stopped forcing it.”
Dr. O’Donnell writes something down and then sets her pen down. “What about you, Julius?”
I smirk. What about me? I shrug. “I never thought my wife would cheat on me, and I definitely never thought I’d file for divorce. I guess I thought I’d beat the odds and have a long marriage like my parents. I know Elena isn’t the only one to blame, but I’m putting all the blame on her. She signed up for this NFL wife reality show. It was a hit, but suddenly, we had drama, and we were fighting. We hadn’t fought before. We spent the season here and then the off-season in Los Angeles. I thought we were a strong couple. Then, these cameras start following us around, and producers are saying shit, causing issues. I tried to make her see this, but she felt I was overreacting, and accused me of stifling her passion for acting. Which only started after the reality show. When it was time to return to Portland, she told me she had a part in a movie and I should take the kids with me. I didn’t balk because I’m trying to support her career and whatnot. Turns out, she had started dating someone behind my back—a guy she met on the set. I thought the images I saw on social media were from the movie set. When I confronted her about it, she asked for a divorce. I reminded her that our prenup has an adultery clause, meaning she doesn’t get a cent of alimony if she cheats. At first, she denied it, but when I went to talk to her, her boyfriend showed up and all but confirmed they are in a relationship.”