‘Yes, the new software was a match. Right on target. They said it would take a few weeks, and here it is three weeks later. It’s reduced the phantom pains, too.’
‘That’s wonderful.’
She shrugs. ‘Not the real thing, though. It never will be. It’s a patch, that’s all.’
‘You’re bitter?’
She stops to rest and smiles at me. I think of the time she told me, I like you, Jenna. Her face is soft like that right now. ‘Do I seem bitter?’ she asks. ‘I hope not. Not that there aren’t days. But I’m trying to channel that bitterness into determination. Maybe I can make a difference for someone else. That’s all.’
‘By volunteering in the ethics office?’
‘Yes, I guess so. I want to make sure science is held accountable in the future so others won’t have to go through what I’ve been through. But I’m grateful for these.’ She gestures with her prosthetics. ‘Truly I am. They aren’t perfect, but none of us are ever exactly what we want to be, right?’
‘Right,’ I answer.
‘When I was going through my bitter phase, my counselor told me we’re all products of our parents, genes, or environment in one way or another.’ She begins walking again. ‘And I may wish I could change the hand I was dealt, but I can’t, so all I can do now is choose how I will play it. So that’s what I’m doing. Playing it the best I can.’
‘Dane!’ Rae calls.
An unenthusiastic ‘Coming’ is heard from above.
‘Speaking of genes and a bad hand,’ Allys says, glancing over her shoulder and rolling her eyes.
I stop and grab her arm, jerking her to a halt. ‘I like you, Allys.’
She looks at me, a wrinkle running across her forehead. ‘I like you, too, Jenna,’ she says slowly. Ethan is already below, sitting on a rock by the creek. I can see his warning look.
I look back at Allys. ‘I just wanted to tell you,’ I say. ‘It’s important that you know.’
‘Sure,’ she answers. She tags on an awkward smile.
I am an oaf. My timing is off. But I had to get it out. Some things you have to tell, no matter how stupid they may sound. Some things you can’t save for later. There might not be a later.
We arrive at the creek and the scattering of boulders that will be our classroom. Rae is there for support, but Allys is teacher-collaborator for this session. Dane finally arrives and sits on a nearby swooping oak branch rather than join the covey of boulders we sit on. Rae wears hiking boots and blue jeans. They fit her better than the suits she usually wears. I look at my own clothes, the simple shirts and slacks provided by Claire. Light blue, dark blue. They have the personality of a slug.
‘You can hear from there, Dane?’ Rae asks.
‘Perfectly,’ he answers, then adds his trademark soulless smile.
Allys begins her discussion with some review of the manipulation of the Bt bacterium to create pest-resistant crops, and the introduction of transgenic animals into the food supply decades ago. ‘Of course, at the time, all of these “breakthroughs” seemed like a good thing, especially from an economic standpoint—’
‘We had to hike all the way down here to hear this?’ Dane groans.
‘What’s the matter? Had to break a sweat?’ Gabriel shoots back. I am surprised. Gabriel avoids confrontation. Maybe, like Rae, he has a boundary, too, and it’s been crossed too many times. Dane stares at Gabriel but doesn’t respond, no expression on his mouth or in his eyes. A dead look. It is more disturbing than a glare. It is impossible to know what he is thinking.
‘I know you have the patience of a rapidly decomposing turd, Dane, but I will get to my reason for meeting here. Not that I need one. Sunshine is plenty for most people.’ Allys adjusts her position on her rock, unaware of how much satisfaction she has brought to Ethan and Gabriel. Maybe even Rae.
‘Before the FSEB stepped in to regulate science labs, bioengineered plants and transgenic animals were being introduced into the food chain at the rate of dozens of species a year. Since these posed no direct health concern to humans, the FDA was approving these introductions at an alarming pace. But—’
I know where she is going. I shouldn’t interrupt, but my mouth is speaking before I can decide not to. ‘But no one looked at the effects of these new species intermingling with native populations? That’s the danger, isn’t it?’
‘Exactly,’ she answers. ‘They didn’t even consider the possibility. That’s why regulation is key.’
‘To make sure we don’t produce any lab monsters?’ I offer. ‘Ones that might get out in the world and taint the original species? Is that what you mean?’ Ethan stands and leaps to an adjacent rock to get my attention. He wants me to shut up. Do Allys and my secret frighten him that much?
‘Well, Jenna,’ she answers, ‘I’m not sure taint is quite the right word. It’s more like making sure native populations aren’t put at risk. It’s already too late for so many species, which is why the work of the Federal Science Ethics Board is so—’
Ethan leaps to another rock, his hands flying over his head at the same time. ‘But that’s the sticking point, isn’t it, Allys? Even the FSEB has its share of scandal. Payoffs. Conflict of interests. Sleeping with—’