I am glad to see that you are back to operating at optimal capacity, she thought, probably because I had her locked down so tight that not even her jaw could move. I meant to circumvent the binding on your bond with Darius when I was in the elves’ castle, but Lucifer showed up too quickly. I didn’t want to get caught with my hands on the prize and end up down here like Cahal did.
What was this now? She had been in the castle?
I’ve had a bond muffled by them in the past, she continued, so I did a lot of research on the subject. To break their magical suppression, you will need to take each other’s blood, like bonding again. It will be much quicker and less intense, of course. In the meantime, there is a workaround. You simply need a vampire more powerful than the bond holder to flower the effects of the bond so that you can feel it. Given Darius is the bond holder, your only option at present is me. Shall I?
“I mean…it goes without saying that I need to live through this, right?”
Don’t be an idiot.
That was apparently a yes.
I released the air hold and allowed her hand to continue until it rested just over my heart.
“Boy will I feel stupid if this was all an elaborate scheme to rip my heart out,” I said.
“In that case, we’d both feel stupid. Being elaborate just wastes time.”
“You’re not real moody, are you? Just super sweet all the time, huh?”
Claws elongated from her fingers and dug into my skin.
“I’m having second thoughts,” I said, and then held my breath as the pain spiraled outward from my chest. I would’ve pushed her off if I hadn’t felt a strange stirring in my chest, like the haze on my bond with Darius was lifting slightly, letting the feeling of him seep out and into my person.
My body tensed, the world stilled, my entire being focused on him re-entering my world.
The pain in my chest increased, her claws digging in, her power amplifying.
“He has grown mighty while under your care,” she whispered, her voice strained.
Anxiety and worry bled through the bond, followed by confusion, and then a gush of love so powerful my knees weakened. He felt me as I was feeling him. Relief washed in next, and suddenly I knew exactly where to find him. I could sense his direction in relation to mine.
“Interesting. I never took you for a crier.” Ja pulled her bloody hand away from my red-stained chest. I barely felt the pounding of pain, focused as I was on the feeling of Darius within me again. Coursing through me. Filling me up. It wasn’t just the bond, which was still half muffled. I could finally let myself miss him again. Ache for him. Want him near me.
How could Lucifer ever think I could sex him away? That was a person who didn’t understand deep, soul-crushing love. He might’ve really liked my mom, but he hadn’t loved her. Not like this. Not even close.
“It’s been a rough few weeks,” I said, wiping my cheeks and not even feeling remotely embarrassed about the show of vulnerability. Something Lucifer had said popped into my mind.
Vulnerabilities aren’t something to be afraid of. They make us stronger, in the end. You cannot really hate unless you know how to love. You will never know your true strength unless you give in to your greatest weaknesses.
Ja was watching me with a tilted head.
“Come on. Stop wasting time.” I brushed past her so I could grab a different top. This one now had holes in it.
“Don’t fail,” she told me, and then she and her cronies went running across the living space and leapt out of a window that would dump them out onto a very steep incline. I didn’t have time to see if they’d tumble off.
Dress off and tank on, I tied my hair tighter and grabbed the demon whiskey and one glass from the table. I emptied most of the whiskey to look like I’d drunk it and then put the bottle on the table in the main room and the glass on the table near the window. If someone got into the main room before they should, hopefully they’d see that and my closed door and wait for my hangover to wear away. Assuming they could get in at all.
I opened the window that looked out over the darkened kingdom and sailed through it, pulling in tightly to the building and dodging windows as I made my way to Cahal’s apartment. I’d chosen it deliberately. It was a big production to get there from within the castle—you had to take stairs and go down halls. Go out the window, though, and it was very accessible. I loved it when a plan came together. Especially because I never usually planned at all.