She started thinking of ways to break the news to Alistair when Logan rushed in with a cuppa and three different kinds of chocolate. As the male rambled on about getting anything else she needed, Kiyana sipped her tea and smiled at how Logan was bending over backward to make her happy.
She might tire of the extra attention eventually, but for the moment, it was exactly what she needed to forget about all the negative possibilities for her future and focus on the positive ones.
~~~
Alistair had learned to both love and hate the white ceiling above his bed.
For three long months, he'd had to stare at it. Aye, they'd brought in a telly, and cards made by his students as well as his nephews plastered the walls. However, the ceiling was blank.
And sometimes he liked the sereneness of it. Other times, it only reminded him of what was missing—namely, changing into a dragon and jumping into the sky.
He hadn't gone mad yet, which was a good thing. But being alone inside his mind for weeks on end was lonely. So much lonelier than he ever could've imagined.
Lonelier still since he hadn't spoken with Kiyana for the same time period.
At least he'd woken up from the transfusion feeling stronger. The massive doses of various drugs had taken its toll—not to mention the surgery he'd had to repair his broken bones as best as Layla could do—and his health had nearly failed a few days before. While he'd love to be happy about finally being on the road to recovery, the procedure likely meant he was sterile now.
If the last attempt with Kiyana failed, that was it. Alistair would never have children of his own. And given how hard it was for dragon-shifters to have large numbers of children in the first place, he may never be able to adopt, either.
He almost filled the silence with what he thought his dragon would say, but the door opened, and Layla walked over to his bedside. "Leave out the bits about being bored or restless and tell me how you're feeling."
As anxious as she to cut to the chase, he replied, "Not as tired as before. However, my dragon hasn't returned."
"I wouldn't worry about that yet. He may have been put into a sort of coma from the long-term use of the dragon-sleeping drug. The effects should wear off in a matter of days, and we'll know for sure how he's doing."
No comforting words from Layla. It was one of the things he both hated and loved about her, as did all the clan members. "And Kiyana? Can I finally see her?"
"I need to check a few things first, aye? Then I can tell you."
As Layla conducted her examination and he answered her questions honestly, he resisted the urge to ask if she was fine. It'd been over three fucking months since he'd seen, let alone talked with, the female who was his true mate. Even though he hadn't known her long before all the difficulties crashed into his life, he missed her. Missed her humor, her intelligence, hell, how she just felt like the lover and friend he'd always been meant to have.
He'd never forget Rachel and would always love her, but Kiyana was his future now.
Or, so he hoped. If the pregnancy didn't take, then she could leave at any time.
And if his dragon didn't return, then maybe she would, unable to deal with the changes that would no doubt come because of the absence.
His thoughts drifted to what he could do to ensure Kiyana stayed when Layla finished and placed her hands into the pockets of her lab coat. "All of your vital signs are stronger, and your mind seems to be fine, too."
Hope bubbled in his chest and blurted, "So does that mean I can finally see her?"
"On one condition—I want to be here when you first see and talk with her, just to ensure your dragon doesn't act out."
His happiness deflated. Her words had to mean one thing. "Then the pregnancy didn't take?"
Layla raised her brows. "And if it didn't?"
Alistair growled. "Don't toy with me, Layla."
"Answer the question."
He wanted to curse stubborn doctors. If she wasn't such a bloody good one, he might have.
Instead, he answered, "I still want to see her, hear her voice, and feel her hand in mine. With or without a bairn, she's my true mate, Layla. Even without my dragon, the world feels brighter when she's near. I want, no…need her."
Layla bobbed her head. "Good answer." He opened his mouth, but she beat him to it. "Let me help you sit up and then I'll fetch her."
Even though maybe a minute passed, Layla helping him to sit up and place pillows behind his back seemed like hours.