&nbs
p; She nodded. “Yeah.” She looked down at me. “But I want you.”
It threw a wrench in my plans. I wanted to give her everything for as long as she wanted it, but how could I deny such an enticing request? “Okay, my love.”
I pulled my fingers free and snaked my way back up her body. I kissed her as I went and let my hands smooth their way over her skin. I wanted to emblazon the feeling of her on my fingertips, something to give me a constant reminder of what I nearly lost and what I had to fight hard to keep. Willow let out a lewd huff when my burning self rubbed against her below. I let us stay that way, just touching, entwined with one another in anticipation of what was to come next. I took her lips against mine, pushing around her tongue with my own and locking my fingers into her hair. Our heads twisted as we searched for more of each other. The feeling of Willow’s hands clawing along my sides sent me into space, and I never wanted to come down.
She arched her hips, pushing herself against me below, and I knew that she’d run out of patience. I rolled, bringing her to rest on top of me, and sat up, letting her straddle me. I wrapped my hands around her back as she repositioned herself on top of me and tucked the head of me into her wet warmth. I let out a grunt, matched by Willow’s moan, and she wrapped her arms around my neck while she lowered herself slowly.
“I love you,” she whispered, her lips but a breath from mine.
“I love you.”
She moved, but slowly, which I was glad for. I was in no rush to finish and was happy to soak up as much of Willow as I could. Our arms coiled tightly around one another, and for a few blissful moments, we weren’t in Philadelphia anymore. We were somewhere where the harsh realities of our world couldn’t get to us, a place where only we existed and where we were free to continue loving each other that way forever if we wanted. Willow’s rising and falling on top of me was like a chisel and a hammer against the cage I’d built around myself. When had I become so afraid to let anything in? When had I locked her out? She chipped and chipped away at it, each crack painful but liberating, until finally, the walls crumbled away, leaving me raw and open to her. It was enlightening. She was opening me again, and I felt like myself—the same goofy, nerdy, loving person I was before I willingly stepped into my dad’s shadow.
My whole lower body shook with the ecstasy of the woman around me. Her moans of pleasure and vibrations as she worked herself into her own orgasms were golden. My hands dragged up her back as I felt myself getting closer and closer to the edge. Willow could hear it, could feel it, she had to, but she didn’t let up.
“Baby,” I warned.
She didn’t ignore me but met me with a kiss. She ground herself against me until my cup filled to the brim and started to overflow. I released my own set of moans against her lips, and tears crawled down my cheeks. It was Willow. It was me. We were us again, two people who’d nearly been torn to shreds by the Varasso curse, just barely managing to pull themselves back from the brink of destruction. Saying it was overwhelming would be an understatement.
Willow smiled at me, and it melted me. It occurred to me at that moment that I hadn’t seen her pure, happy smile in a long, long time. I gave her one back, and hers grew.
“I love you,” she said again.
I shook my head, hugging her close to me. I buried my face against her chest and sighed, making a silent promise to myself never to let her go again. “Not nearly as much as I love you.”
24
Willow
My heart wouldn’t stop pounding. It reminded me of the way it beat when Alessandro asked me out on our first date—that nervous excitement and that uncertainty about what was next, but the feeling of knowing it would be good. I couldn’t pinpoint exactly when Alessandro and I had walked into a twisted cavern of darkness and emptiness, but I finally felt like we saw the light ahead. We were both bloodied and bruised, but we were walking out together, something I’d long believed wouldn’t happen.
He was on his back, his head on the pillows, eyes closed, deep breaths coming in and out in a calming, rhythmic pattern. I might have thought he was asleep if his fingers weren’t tracing a continuous circle across my lower back. I could have laid my head on his chest and fallen asleep that way, but it was difficult to do so. My eyelids were heavy, and my brain was screaming for sleep, but I didn’t want to leave consciousness yet. I wanted to stay awake with Alessandro for as long as my body would let me. I just wanted to be near him and be aware of it. I wanted to live in the comfort that, for the first time in several months, I didn’t have to scold myself later. I was with him, and it was okay.
“I meant what I said,” he said, breaking the silence after a long time.
“What part?” He’d said he loved me about a million times, but I had never doubted for a second that he did.
“That I’m going to do whatever it takes.” He poked a finger against my cheek, and I looked up, meeting his blazing brown eyes. “You are more important to me than anything. I’m going to do whatever I have to for us to be together.”
I smiled up at him. “I’m very happy to hear that.”
I realized that the gravel in Alessandro’s voice was gone. The roughness it had carried the past year had evaporated. He was really and truly himself again. I wasn’t so lost in a fairy tale to think that it was gone for good, but it was a reminder that the real Alessandro was very much alive and well. I hated that it took me nearly getting my head blown off to bring him back out, but now that he was here, I was going to cling onto him and never let him fall into the murky Varasso waters again.
“So, can we be us again?” he asked.
Hearing it was wonderful enough, let alone making it official. “Yes.”
The smile that found Alessandro’s face after that was blinding and nearly lit up the darkened room. “Good.”
“Alessandro.”
He looked into me. “Hm?”
“I also meant what I said.” He tilted his head in confusion. “Outside, when I was…” I let my voice trail away at that. Neither of us needed reminding. “All that stuff I said to you, I meant every word of it. I never stopped loving you. I honestly don’t think I’m capable of that.”
He nodded. “I know what you mean.”