“What’s going on?” I asked her, sitting on one corner of the desk.
“Oh,” she glanced up at me in surprise. Her back had been to the door, so she hadn’t seen me observing her. “Nothing.”
“Doesn’t seem like nothing.”
“It’s just, a couple of the servers called in to work today, so I pitched in. I still got the deposits done in time for the pick-up, don’t worry. But I realized something while I was out there on the floor.”
She stared at her hands, and acid crawled up my throat. Had she realized what I was doing with the restaurant wasn’t exactly above board?
“It’s just… I miss my old job,” she said.
I let out the breath I’d been holding, and the acid receded. “You mean serving?”
“Yeah. Well. I think it’s more I miss interacting with the customers, you know? I used to be out there, mingling and shooting the breeze with people. Now, I don’t. Not that I don’t appreciate the huge raise and everything,” she put in as if afraid I’d see what she said as a complaint. “But I feel isolated being in here all the time.”
“I see no reason why you can’t mingle. You don’t even have to wait tables, you could just go out there and check on people. See if their okay, if they’re having a nice meal and so forth.”
“Really?” the green starbursts of her eyes bright. “You’d be cool with that? Even though I’m not a server anymore?”
“Why not?” I said, chagrined she felt less than happy about her circumstances. “I never intended for you to feel imprisoned in here.”
“I don’t feel that way. And it’s not that I’m ungrateful…”
“Kelly, you have so much to offer. If you want something, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Or even demand it.”
Her eyes went to her hands clasped on the table.
On the night we’d first met and I’d been in so much pain, she’d stood her ground and stayed with me, even when I didn’t want her to. It’s something I’d seen out of her more than once now; if someone was down or hurt, she felt compelled to help them. Compassion came so naturally to her. It almost felt as if she considered herself responsible for bolstering anyone in that state.
But when it came to her own wellbeing, her own choices, she came across as far less self-assured. I’d been attempting to work with her on that.
I put a finger under her chin, pulling her face gently upwards so she’d meet my eyes. “Ian told me you were the cream of the crop, and I agree. I wish you’d quit selling yourself short.”
I’d been so cautious with Kelly over the month and a half I’d worked with her. I’d known I was attracted to her, turned on by her, but since it couldn’t go anywhere, I’d made sure not to touch her. After the kiss she’d given me in passing, she hadn’t initiated anything else, and relieved, I’d done my best to stay professional with her.
Which wasn’t easy.
I wasn’t used to denying myself the pleasure of a woman, and there’d been more than once that I’d made an excuse to put a bit of distance between us. She was so unaware of her own gorgeousness, in body, mind, and behavior, that I found her difficult to resist. The fact that she remained right there within reach but off-limits might have something to do with it, too.
Whatever the reason, Kelly had stayed on my mind nearly twenty-four seven.
A week ago, after a sleepless night where I’d been plagued with fantasies about her, I’d gotten up to take yet another cold shower, something that had begun to happen almost every morning.
I’d been grumpy and short-tempered. My family had been letting it go, my brothers either throwing silent looks across the room at each other or getting up and leaving me to my sour mood, but I recognized that I’d become what Luca used to call me all the time.
An ass.
Knowing how I was acting and not being able to help it didn’t make me feel any better. After almost dying in that fire, I’d tried to curb that behavior, especially where Luca was involved. But I’d been feeling so tense for so many weeks at that point, I thought I might explode.
So that specific Sunday morning, as I stepped into my shower, I twisted the knob from cold to something much warmer. I allowed myself to fixate on some of the erotic images of Kelly I’d been dreaming about incessantly, soaped up my hand, and wrapped it around myself.
I imagined kissing her, touching her, tasting her. Then, I pictured myself pumping deep inside of her. It took all of three thrusts before I came, pulsing hard into my own hand. Afterwards, I had to prop myself up on the tile wall to keep myself from falling to my knees with the relief of it.
Christ, I’d needed that.
I’d continued this trend every morning since. It’d made seeing her every day more doable, had given me back some control. But I’d managed to avoid touching her like I was now, which though it was nothing more than a finger along the soft delicate skin beneath her chin, turned into a whole other ballgame.
Despite the contact being minimal, it affected me more strongly than it had before. Her light flowery essence enveloped me, and it took everything I had to drop my hand and pull away. Before I could bring myself to my feet, however, Kelly leaned in, lifting both of her palms to my cheeks.