Angelo didn’t love any of us.
We were his sons. His progeny. His legacy. Our purpose was to live up to the Varasso name and keep the business going, nothing more. We didn’t actually matter to him as people, as human beings. He was the soulless king, Luca was his direct heir, and the rest of us were mere princes, backups to the throne. But he held no true regard for us. No warmth or affection.
That knowledge altered me on a fundamental level.
I stopped being quiet, dutiful Marco and began to argue with my father, even physically fight him. I stirred up trouble with him every chance I got, enjoying making him uncomfortable, enjoying making him as angry as he made me. I wanted a reaction out of him.
At first, I think I believed that maybe if I poked the bear hard enough, he’d show some semblance of real feeling towards us. Towards me.
But all I ever received from all my defiance was his wrath.
The evening the Bianchis came and shot down Angelo in our home, I’d been furious. Livid, even. But it was because of the lack of respect Donovan Bianchi had shown our family, not because I loved my father. Not because I’d miss him.
Because I wouldn’t. I didn’t. I hated him with every cell of my being.
From the moment he’d slapped me, I’d become a very different person. Nearly overnight, I went from being a rather sensitive boy to donning the mantle of a grown man, a cold and ruthless one at that. Luca had been privy to that initial meeting between me and Emily, but he hadn’t known the extent of it. No one had.
No one except the father who’d cruelly mocked me for it.
When I’d been sixteen and he eighteen, Luca had confronted me while Sandro and Gabriel watched from the sidelines. I hadn’t thought any of my brothers had noticed the change in me, but they had.
“What the hell is up with you?” my eldest brother had asked me. “You never used to be like this with Dad, all loud and argumentative.”
“Leave me alone,” had been my not so witty response, but of course, he hadn’t.
“You’re mad all the time now, and I want to know why. We all want to know why.”
Gabriel had been fourteen and Alessandro only ten, but the bond we’d shared as brothers had been close, especially the one between Luca and me. Before, I would’ve probably broken down and told them everything. I would’ve been honest and open. I would’ve let them in.
But this latest and much more aggressive version of myself didn’t allow for that. So instead of responding, I’d stormed off, leaving all three of them behind.
Instead of investing my time in my brothers, I invested it in women. Not in the way I had with Emily, but rather as entertainment. They were diversions. But ever since getting burned, I hadn’t been with any women, as diversions or anything else.
Today had been the first time since the fire that I’d even felt attracted to a woman. Not that I’d do anything about it. Kelly Carr may pique my interest, but I didn’t have the luxury of being able to pursue something with her. The severe nature of my injuries meant having a good ole naked free-for-all was over for me. Possibly for good.
Which didn’t exactly make me a barrel of laughs, but there wasn’t much I could do about it.
“Mr. Varasso?” she said from the open office doorway, drawing me out of my head. I’d been staring unfocused at nothing like a daydreaming high school kid. Damn. “Are you planning to stay later? Everything’s already locked up, but I can leave the alarm off if you’d like.”
I glanced at my watch and saw that it was half past ten. Not that late, really, but later than I’d been staying up for the past several months.
“No,” I told her, feeling more tired and out of sorts than I wanted her to know. “I should get home, too. I need to memorize the security code, anyway.”
I followed her to the door and became surrounded by her unique fragrance. It reminded me of something familiar, something like the baby lotion Molly used on Antonio. But the scent was mixed with something floral, too. The combination was light yet heady. Whatever it was, I wanted to inhale more of it. I lingered close to her so I could.
I watched as she inputted a surprisingly complicated number of commands into the security panel, and then closed up, trying my own key for the f
irst time.
“I hope you don’t think this is too forward, but can I ask you something?” she said. Now that we were outside in the cool night air, I felt more than ready to get out of here, but I nodded. “Should I expect to get a pink slip in the morning?”
She seemed exceedingly nervous as she stood there, so I put her out of her misery. “I see no reason for anyone to get a pink slip, certainly not you.”
Kelly literally breathed out a sigh of relief. “Thank you, Mr. Varasso.”
And that reminded me… “Call me Marco, please. I’m guessing we’re not far enough apart in age that standing on formality would make sense. Wouldn’t you agree?”
Instead of answering, she gave me a tiny smile. It wasn’t shy exactly, but it had a guilelessness to it that I found endearing.