Probably the latter.
The next day I fought nausea again all the way to the airport. I drank my ginger ale, closing my eyes and telling my stomach to knock it off already. I must’ve gotten all that out of my system by now.
I made it to the tiny town on the inside of the Texas border even though the dirt road we’d had to travel on made me sick again in the back seat. Luca had given me the name of my new contact, an Officer Peterson, who would ensure safe passage of our products going forward. I got out of the car and was surprised to discover that Officer Peterson was a woman.
A woman who looked like she was about ten months pregnant.
Hadn’t seen that one coming.
I introduced myself, then closed my eyes as I tried to use mind over matter to keep from turning green. It didn’t work. I attempted to concentrate on the border patrol officer. I’d expected well, one, a guy. And two, for that guy to be antsy. Up till then, I’d only ever worked with people who’d been with the Varassos for years, but this lady was brand new.
To be certain I had the correct person, I felt her out a little. “So my manager contacted you?” I asked her, testing her to see if she’d give me a name.
“Yes, I spoke with Luca. Very nice fella. He told me to just redirect the dogs on the days one of you texted me,” she spoke in a distinctly southern accent I’d only ever heard on television or in movies. It probably meant I needed to travel more widely. I suspected that Luca had been all over the world. At least during his youth.
“Good,” I said, sounded okay so far. I’d developed decent instincts before Luca had trained me on how to read people, and afterwards, I felt like an expert. Officer Peterson wasn’t setting off any of my red flags.
She patted her round belly. “Gotta do what I gotta do. I’m raising this baby on my own and our salaries are well… a joke if you wanna know the truth.”
“I understand.” I did. I’d spent much of my life in low-paying jobs. Another cramp hit me and I bent over double, doing my best not to throw up on her shiny cop shoes.
“Oh, honey, been there, done that. How far along are you?”
I put a hand over my mouth, barely holding back the only thing I’d had in three days now, ginger ale. Maybe because my brain was failing to fire on all cylind
ers, I couldn’t make sense of what she’d said. “Far along?”
“Yeah. I know you must be in your first trimester since you’re not even showing.”
Now I got it. “Oh, no, I’m not pregnant. I just ate some bad food a few days ago.”
“A few days? How many?”
“Um, four,” I said, wishing we would stop talking about this. It definitely wasn’t helping.
“Huh… Food poisonin’ doesn’t usually last that long. Hope you feel better. Good luck.”
“You, too.”
It wasn’t until I was on the trip back home that her words started to roll around in my head. Food poisoning doesn’t usually last that long. First trimester. I was sure I wasn’t pregnant, though. The only person I’d been with in months was Luca, of course. And that had only been twice.
Well, we’d gone through two condoms the first time, so technically that was three times, but who’s counting?
And I’d never be with him in that way again. Even though I loved him and wanted it more than anything. I wanted everything with him more than anything.
Okay, no use going there.
But I didn’t stop going there. My mind seemed fixated on him. I thought of all I’d been through with him in these few short months. Everything I’d seen. Everything I’d learned. Even though society taught me that everything about the Varassos were wrong, I’d never been happier in my life.
Until recently.
I was strong, though. I’d had to be. I had my new house—something I kind of dreaded telling Luca about—and my money. I had plenty of nice pretty clothes and a comfy bed. Things had gotten friendlier between me and his brothers, too, so that was a bonus.
Right?
And don’t forget Anna. Adorable little thing. She was the prettiest baby I’d ever seen in my life, and she barely even cried. Then a wave of sadness rolled over me like a tidal wave, and tears started running down my cheeks. Thank God no one was on the plane but the pilots up in the cockpit. That way I could stay in my misery alone.
And I did stay in it. For a solid hour.