Her kindness was far more than I deserved.
Something had burgeoned between us in that moment. A connection. And ever since then, all the numbness I’d been living in had been washed away. The thick barricades I’d been protecting myself with were gone now.
Which wasn’t necessarily a good thing. Not completely. While being around her made me feel better, having access to all my emotions again was problematic. I had less control and reacted more vehemently. As Marco could attest to.
Yet when I’d noticed Gabriel’s sorrow, I hadn’t been able to ignore it. I’d felt it. I’d severed all emotional ties with my family, but now
those links had been reestablished. The lost connections restored. The genie was out of her bottle, and there was no putting her back.
Guess I’d just have to deal with it, come what may.
Over the next month, I began to oversee the full spectrum of the family business as the coolness of autumn morphed into a sleety winter. I’d worked with the myriad pieces many times before, had walked in my father’s footsteps and by his side. But that had all been before Anna’s birth. After that, I’d left the majority of my responsibilities to others.
And a byproduct of that had been what had happened with the Bianchis. Alessandro had been utilizing his hacking skills to break into the Bianchi’s computer records and surveillance, trying to determine if our father really had been duplicitous in his dealings with them. The paper records they’d provided me with looked damning, but records could be falsified.
We needed more conclusive proof.
I met individually with the most important members of our organization, wanting to make direct contact with them and assert my authority. Now was a delicate time. If any of the people we traded with sensed weakness, they could strike out at us or leave our family to join someone else’s.
Our organization was dependent on all the clockworks rotating correctly. If one spring or gear started spinning in another direction, the clock would come to grinding halt. The time of the Varasso’s success and leadership would be up.
I began to indoctrinate Molly into the business. I was giving her control over what we termed Corridor B, one of the eight corridors coming out of Mexico and into the United States. She would need to ensure the smooth movement of product across the border. Then, once the drugs arrived, she would then be responsible for their distribution.
This corridor was the smallest and dealt with the least expensive products: meth and marijuana. It was the best way to get her feet wet before delving in too deeply. I’d explained to her the importance of micromanaging all the players until she got to know and trust them. She would track the delivery electronically as it traveled along Interstates 2, 5, 10 and 40.
Before putting her in the thick of things, I pulled her aside. “Are you nervous about this?”
She seemed hyper, almost jittery. “I’m excited. I’ve never had the opportunity to make so much money before.”
“So you have no issues with doing something illegal?” I pushed.
“Luca, I’ve shoplifted before. I’ve done other things that weren’t above board. Sticking to the straight and narrow basically left me working for jerks who paid me little more than minimum wage. I’m ready to try it your way for a change.”
Training her entailed spending all day every day with her. She traveled with me when I went to meet with people, and I then encouraged her to ask questions when we returned home. Sometimes, I brought her along to play with Anna, as well. My daughter’s face brightened every time she saw her, and I took that as a positive omen.
Molly had been there when Anna started to increase her vocabulary—she could now say “greet” which referred to Greta, “cat” and “shoe.” Molly had also been there when my baby took her first steps from her to me. We’d both cheered my daughter on, applauding and laughing when she accomplished her goal.
It’d been the best day I’d had in a long time.
When we weren’t training, I asked her about her family and upbringing. At first, she was reticent, but over time, she began to open up to me. I’d already gathered that her childhood hadn’t been a happy one, but some of the offhanded remarks she made caused my hackles to raise. I knew there was a lot she wasn’t telling me. Bad things.
I felt so curious about those things. But I also knew better than to press the issue. When she asked to speak to her sister, I let her as long as I could be in the room. She knew she couldn’t tell her sister where she was or what she was doing. Though, I knew at this point, even if she did, there was no way I could hurt or kill her.
I’d grown to care about her too much. A fact I worked hard to keep hidden from her. I knew all too well that heartbreak ran through the Varasso men’s blood, and I had no wish to reactivate the curse again.
I’d lost too much as it was.
13
Molly
As I lay in bed after having been with the Varassos for a month, I considered how being with them had changed me. I’d started out resenting what they’d done at Angelo’s behest. I’d detested them for forcibly abducting me. For threatening me, for interrupting my life. For nearly ending my life. Nothing about any of that had been okay.
Yet living here with them gave me insights I hadn’t expected. About both them and myself.
These people were members of the mafia and committed heinous acts on a regular basis. They were criminals. But as I already told Luca, I was no angel myself. I’d stolen and shoplifted when I had to. I’d hurt people who’d tried to hurt me. Their activities afforded them a life I had only ever been able to glimpse in my wildest imaginings.
They had it all. Family ties. Closeness and love. Wealth and comfort. And despite how I’d come to find myself here, I wanted that, too. I wanted what they had.