The last argument I had with my family plays on a loop in my head, the way it has for weeks now. “It wasn’t my intention to make my brother look weak, and yes, I could have worded it better, but the damage was done.”
Emerson’s expression is hard to read now as he watches me, but I keep pushing forward.
“Anyway, what you feared happening to you already happened to me. My plan backfired. Spectacularly. That’s the real reason I moved here.”
He shakes his head in disbelief and shifts in his chair. “Let me see if I can wrap my head around this. Your parents were okay with your brother handing you off, despite the fact that he got himself into that situation and was using you to get out of it?”
I lift one shoulder. “They weren’t against it, which was close enough for me. I think my mother was even excited about the possibility of a wedding. They’d given up on me being marriageable years ago. After all, I’m slightly damaged goods.”
Arush said I wasn’t a whole woman, and I should be happy that someone wanted to marry me.
“Don’t say that,” Emerson snaps. The look he gives me is apologetic as he lowers his voice. “I’m trying to picture it, but I have to admit, it’s hard. If Hugo, Robert or I had ever tried to tell one of our sisters who to date, let alone marry, the family would have voted to kick us out of the house until we learned the error of our ways.”
“Not all families are like the Waynes,” I say wistfully. “There’s no voting in the Chahal household. There are traditions. Accepted roles.”
Roles I never managed to fit into.
“I think my great aunt was the only one who saw that I was different. Who believed I could be more than a bargain or a burden. After she died, she left me an inheritance and some advice. Part of that advice is why I asked you here today.”
“Choose your own husband or refuse to marry at all.”
The memory of those words from her letter gives me the courage to move closer to him, until I’m sitting on the edge of my desk beside his chair.
“Two birds, one stone,” I repeat the phrase from my email. “We each have problems, Emerson. And I believe the solution is obvious, if you’re willing to keep an open mind.”
“It’s not that obvious,” he says quietly, but there’s something in his expression that tells me he’s starting to catch on. “Would you mind spelling it out in more detail for the back of the class?”
Deep breath. “My family isn’t perfect, but my father is well-respected, as are his children. J&T is a company with an untarnished reputation, as am I. Being a forensic accountant, you might prefer to dig through all our financials, personal and professional, yourself for your own peace of mind. If you do, you won’t find a single red flag. I have no criminal record, my credit report is exceptional, I’m involved in multiple children’s charities and I minored in childhood development in college.”
“Tanisha?”
I’m fumbling this. I’m more nervous than I thought I’d be. “What I’m trying to say is that, on paper, I’m exactly the kind of person a judge would be impressed by when considering a custody case. If I were your wife—”
He’s on his feet beside me in an instant, but instead of looking him in the eye, I stare at his handsome cheekbones, and the dimples that aren’t as deep as his son’s, but still distracting.
“I said I had a proposal,” I finish quietly, wondering if he’ll walk out without being willing to discuss this.
“You’re proposing,” he clarifies slowly. “After the story you just told me, you’re proposing marriage? To help me with the custody hearing?”
I place my hand on his arm. “That’s not the only reason. You’d be helping me, too. My being married would break the silence and end the standoff.”
It might not be what he’s going for, but his scowl is fiercely attractive. “What? Your family is pissed that they don’t get to pick your husband, but if you do it, all’s forgiven? As long as you’re married, they don’t care how it happens?”
My expression must say it all.
“I’m right? Jesus, I was joking.”
His tone makes my eyes narrow and I drop my hand. “What part of traditional aren’t you getting here?
“Yeah, well there’s traditional and there’s… You’re not an object to be bartered, Tanisha. Not to mention the fact that they put you in an impossible position and lost the right to have any say in what you do. You shouldn’t care what they want.”
“But I do. And if it was your family, you would, too. Our marriage would allow me to reconnect with my parents and my younger brother. And,” I continue doggedly, “I would be helping you, which is something you need, whether you want to admit it or not.”
He’s so tall he can’t help but tower over me, but it’s when his gaze drops to my mouth that the bottom falls out of my stomach. “Do I need your kind of help, Ms. Chahal? I have a good lawyer. A good reputation of my own.”
I swallow hard, trying to keep my pulse under control. “You have an excellent lawyer. And if you asked him, he’d agree that marriage to me would go a long way toward solidifying your case. And I have the money to drag things out for the foreseeable future, which is, I’m sure, what your ex-wife’s lawyer would tell her right away.”
My lips part on a silent gasp when he cups my shoulders carefully in his big hands. It feels more intimate than it should.