She put on her skirt and underwear with jerky, mechanical efficiency, her mood fluctuating between joy and all those other messy, unwelcome emotions trying to kick joy’s ass.
Anxiety. Dread. Loneliness.
December 30th.
For some reason that sounded a lot sooner than six months.
You have to tell them.
She ignored the whisper in her brain as she stepped into her flats. By the time the doctor knocked and came back in, she was already standing there, keys in hand, ready to go.
“Are you all right, dear?” Dr. Kim asked. “I know this is a lot to take in, but you’re looking a little pale. Still taking it in?”
“It’s a process,” Fiona said weakly.
The doctor leaned against the table and crossed her arms, wearing a look of kind but genuine concern. “We haven’t talked about the father yet.”
Did they have to?
“Yeah, that’s…it’s complicated.”
“I take it this is an unplanned pregnancy?”
“The most unplanned. As in, not the one I planned to have at all,” Fiona said with feeling. When she saw the startled look on the doctor’s face, she hurried to add, “But not unwanted. The farthest thing from unwanted.” She put a hand protectively over her belly. “I want this baby.”
It was the first time she’d said it, but she meant it with all her heart.
She couldn’t help but wonder if her mother had felt the same.
No. She doesn’t get to be here.
“I’m so glad.” The doctor smiled in relief. “Now I can say congratulations. We’ll see you again in a month, but don’t be afraid to call for an appointment sooner if you need something or have any questions or unexpected changes in your emotional state. I’m here for more than just the physical health of you and your baby. This is a life-altering experience, even in the best of circumstances. We take a more holistic approach to pregnancy here. I’d like you to think of us as part of your family.”
“Thank you,” Fiona said, blinking away the threat of tears again. “It’s nice to have someone in your corner.”
You’d have to tell people for that to happen.
On her way out, a nurse handed her a surprisingly fancy diaper bag. She instantly wondered how much it was going to add to her bill.
This is not the time to be worried about money.
This was the perfect time to worry. About lots of things.
“There are all kinds of coupons for diapers and formula in there, as well as a pregnancy planner and a copy of What to Expect When You’re Expecting,” the nurse told her. “You can make your next appointment at the desk before you go.”
Wide-eyed, Fiona obediently made her next appointment and then headed to her car. She dropped the ultrasound images into the diaper bag and then shoved it into her trunk—where it would stay hidden until she could figure out what she was going to do—and headed for the pub. Her shift started in thirty minutes and Finn’s was twenty minutes away, so she needed to step on it.
Safely, now. Driving for two.
“Fuck a duck.”
God, what a mess, she groaned inwardly as she pulled out of the parking lot. She’d always tried to avoid those, and now she’d gotten herself into the most complicated tangle of them all.
Well, Wyatt had obviously played a role, but she owned her part in this karmic tragicomedy.
When he’d first started pursuing her, she’d let herself enjoy the chase. He was fun and easy to be around—a beautiful blond fireman who was as much a faker as she was. Pretending to be more arrogant and oblivious than he was, while noticing everything and everyone around him. The Wyatt Finn he showed to the world—the sexy, happy bachelor content to be his brother’s wingman—wasn’t the whole picture. He’d just been going through the motions for so long he’d forgotten. He tempted her to remind him.
The chemistry between them had been off the charts. She’d felt desire before, but there was something about him that made her react in a way she never imagined she could. He’d scrambled her brain and lit her body up like the fourth of July every time he came around.
So she flirted. And he flirted back. And all the while, Fiona assured herself it was harmless. She was new and different, and Wyatt would move on to someone else when he realized nothing was going to happen between them, because for the moment, she wanted to keep working at Finn’s.
Only he hadn’t moved on.
Instead, he’d listened to her. Watched her and watched over her. Guided people to her who needed advice, though they both knew it was a thinly veiled excuse to be around her. She’d given him hell for it, teased him about it, but it didn’t make a dent in that hard head of his. Even when she’d started spending more time with Thoreau, Wyatt Finn would not give up.