“Shit.”
“You’re such an idiot,” Matt declared.
“Why?”
“Don’t worry about me. Nothing changes, Vin. We don’t change. We didn’t change when you hated me, what—”
“I never hated you.”
He coughed. “Fine. We’ll talk, we’ll Skype, whatever. We might not see each other as much, but once we graduate, I’ll visit, you’ll visit… there’s holidays, and eventually you’ll need me and my degree in economics when it comes time to put together your crack team to help you save the world with your damn plant. Even when you’re a brilliant geneticist, you’ll still need friends.”
“You’re more than my friend.”
“I know that.”
“My damn plant?” I teased him to restore normalcy.
“Don’t be a dick.”
I exhaled sharply. “Just so you’re aware, I’m not trying to leave you like you left me.”
“I know that.”
“I would never do that.”
“Yeah, I know,” he groused. “You’re a fuckin’ saint. Don’t rub it in.”
“Your folks will—”
“Be the same wherever you are or whatever you do. That’s the thing about parents. They get pissed, but they still love you. It’s just hard for you ’cause yours are assholes.”
I couldn’t very well argue.
“The only thing that would upset them is you dropping out of school, but you’d never do that, would you?”
“No, I would not,” I stated firmly. What was funny was that Davis had been on my list to apply to, it was an amazing school, but I wanted to stay in Texas and be with Matt. Funny how life turned out. Or maybe turned out. I hadn’t decided anything yet.
“Good,” Matt praised me. “Like I said, I don’t have any life goals beyond being on team plant.”
I chuckled. Matt always had a way of making me feel better.
“But again, as far as my folks go, they plain love you. And besides, my mom gets you more than me or Jaci, so stop worrying already.”
But my brain was buzzing. “How do you even know what’s going on with me or—”
“The news. Cress is finishing school in Maine. It’s all over every channel. I figure with you being in Phoenix with him… you’re making a decision.” He knew me well. “So you’ve been at this awhile, huh?”
He sounded hurt, and I could at least make that better. He thought I’d kept something monumental from him, and that was not the case at all. “The day you moved back in was the first time I ever spent any time with Carson.”
It took a second, and because I knew him, I expected his breathless reply. “Oh shit.”
“Yeah.”
“Fuck, that’s fast, Vinnie.”
“I know.”
“Like, maybe you should take a minute, huh?”
“I know!” I yelled.
“Jesus,” he breathed out.
“You have no idea.”
“So then what?”
“I dunno.”
He was quiet, I was quiet, both of us just there on the phone.
“There are benefits to fast,” he finally said.
“Like?”
“Like if you fuck up and he gets mad, you can say, ‘Well, now you learned something new about me, didn’t ya?’”
“Are you helping or not?”
“Helping. As always.”
“You won’t even miss me.”
“Nope. Guys don’t miss other guys unless they’re gay.”
“That’s stupid.”
He grunted and I hung up.
“Who was that?”
I looked over at Carson in the moonlight. “Matt.”
“Should I be jealous of Matt? Some ancient, lurking romantic feelings?”
“Hardly.”
“He’ll miss you,” he told me.
“I know that,” I said, looking back outside, leaning my shoulder against the cold glass.
“So tell me what you’re thinking.”
I took a breath but didn’t turn to face him. “How come you didn’t call me last week at all?”
“That eating at you?”
“Little bit.”
“Think it means something? Think I was working things out in my head?”
“I have no idea what you were doing.”
“But you weren’t surprised I didn’t call. You figured it was what it was, a one-night stand, even though we talked all night.”
“We fucked all night too,” I reminded him.
“It wasn’t fucking,” he corrected me. “You don’t hafta call it making love because that sounds lame, but it sure as hell wasn’t fucking.”
I wasn’t sure what to say. It felt like there was a hole opening in my heart.
“Look at me.”
I turned my head.
“Not once last week was I ever alone,” he told me, gesturing for me to move closer. “And I knew if we talked that I’d beg you to let me come over, and there was no way I was putting you under that kind of microscope. It’s wasn’t fair.”
“Isn’t that what you’re going to do now?”
“Yeah, but now it won’t last. I’ll be interesting for a minute and a half more. I mean, maybe they’ll even run a story on me in People magazine or something, and then I’ll be done.”
“You’re very cavalier about this whole thing.”
“That’s because all last week I was trying to figure out a way to talk you into letting me move in with you, and now I don’t have to. Now you got no choice—you have to live with me.”
I faced him and leaned back against the wall. “How you figure that?”