My self-restraint unraveled when I had her close to me. The scent of her perfume and her body molding to mine broke me. And the echo of her whimpers and moans have been a soundtrack for me; I don’t know how long I can fight this attraction. It’s as if she’s slowly burrowing her way inside me, into the marrow of my bones. I don’t know what it is about her, but she’s got a grip on me.
It’s as if she’s challenging the very restraint I hold dear. The control I’ve always prided myself on is slipping away, inch by torturous fucking inch. I fight, yet it feels like a losing battle.
It’s almost as if she and I suffer from the same affliction. In the darkness, we’re the same, but in the light, we’re vastly different. She’s too innocent for me and my world. But having her so close has me struggling to push these thoughts away.
The crunch behind me doesn’t startle me; I felt him before he closed the distance. My brother has a way of sneaking into my private thoughts, and I know he’s going to question me about her.
“Creed had a lot to say about you as he left,” Cassian says. My brother knows about my formative years when I got up to shit with The Black Knights, shit that was considered wrong. But Creed is the man who will hide in the shadows, wanting to feast on your fear. A rogue under the tailored suits and friendly smiles.
Beneath the cool, confident exterior, is a man who is bad right down to the very marrow of his bones. Perhaps one day he’ll find his match, the girl who will finally bring him to his knees. Someone who won’t be afraid of the real Creed Haven and fight back, showing him he’s found his equal.
Our town, Thorne Haven, was founded by two men back in the day. Us, the Thornes and them, the Havens. The three of them, Creed, Brody, and Keirin, aren’t blood brothers like we are, but they’re close enough to act like it.
The Havens adopted them when they were young. We grew up together, our friendships grew over time, but when they decided to start shit in this town to spice up our meager teenage existence, I was at a place in my life where I was pulled into their twisted games.
“He can say anything he wants, he’s a fucking asshole,” I bite out, as my anger simmers just below the surface. I want to drive out into Haven territory and call Creed out. I want to drag him over the invisible line and give him a taste of his own medicine. But I don’t. I know if I do it, I’ll only start a war.
And that’s not what Nesrin needs to see.
“You know she’s caught his eye,” Cass warns, his tone turning darker. I nod. Last night was just the first of what I can assume would be many chances that Creed would take. Even though we’ve kept the peace, ensuring appearances come across to others as peaceful, as if we’re still all friends, we’re not.
It’s been a long time since we could have called ourselves friends.
“He won’t fuck with her. I’ll make sure of it.”
“What about La Ball Masqué?” Cassian’s question causes my body to lock in fury. My hands fist at my sides, and I know I’m going to have to take her there. The town would’ve already heard about my father’s wedding, and they would now know that I have Nesrin at the house. News travels fast in this town.
If I take her, I’m making a statement to the Havens. They’ll read into it, and I don’t know if I can follow through with what’s needed. Creed will throw out a challenge if Nesrin is at my side at the dance.
I internally war with myself for a long moment. Silence hangs between us. It’s a reminder that I’m not a man she can be with. This thing between us is not permanent, and whatever I’m feeling for her will bring about destruction to our family.
“She’ll go with me.”
I can almost feel Cassian’s smile at my admission. He knows she’s captured my attention. As much as I want to fight it, I’m losing the battle. I’ve already broken down and kissed her, but then told her it would never happen again, which was a blatant lie, because I don’t know how to keep it platonic between us.
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” My brother questions slowly, but there’s a warning in his tone, which causes me to look at him for the first time.
“Probably not,” I answer, honestly, because I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to be anywhere near her. Not when she brings out such a ferocious need inside me.