Their lovemaking had been everything she’d ever dreamed of and more. He was a generous lover and after that first cataclysmic joining, they’d made love again. The second time had been slow and gentle, taking their time to understand one another’s bodies in intricate detail, yet with a result equally as shattering as the first.
Her heart expanded and all but burst on the depth of her love for him, on how right they’d felt together. But she’d been unspeakably wrong in allowing their lovemaking to take place. It had been her decision—he hadn’t pushed or coerced her in any way—and in making that decision she’d betrayed the trust of the one person in the world who’d always been her rock.
How could she face her sister now, having knowingly slept with her fiancé? How could she face Rey, still pretending to be someone else?
It wasn’t enough to try and tell herself that Sara wasn’t really in love with Rey. Her twin had been asked to marry him, she’d chosen to say yes. It had been her choice to accept a man who offered her the relative safety of a relationship that demanded little beyond peripheral compatibility—plenty of marriages had been based on less—just as it had been Rina’s choice to settle for the predictability that had been Jacob.
Inasmuch as it was wrong, they’d made their own decisions. Chosen men who’d offered the security they’d craved as children. That Rina’s choice had been proven totally wide of the mark, with Jacob’s eventual defection, only made it clearer to her how wrong it was for Sara to go ahead and marry Rey. But that remained her sister’s choice.
Rina curled up in a small ball at the edge of the bed, her stomach a tight mass of pain, her chest aching with unshed tears as she tried to come to terms with how Sara would feel when she told her the truth. And she would tell her. There was no way she could hide anything as monumental as what she’d done. She’d made a choice of her own tonight, and again it had been the wrong one.
She could only hope that her sister would forgive her.
Rey shifted on the bed beside her, his arm snaking over her body and pulling her into the curve of his stomach. Her bare buttocks nestled against his lower abdomen and she felt his body stir at her touch. Even in sleep, he wanted her.
Her sister’s forgiveness was one thing, but what would Reynard say when she told him that the woman he’d made love to was not who he’d thought? There was no way she could continue the pretense until Sara arrived home. No way she could look him in the eye and not tell him how much she, Rina, loved him.
Eventually sleep claimed her and calmed her mind, but not before she'd resolved to face Rey with the full truth when he awoke. As much as her sister's forgiveness was vital to her, his meant so very much more.
Fourteen
As cold fingers of light began to poke through the window in the colorless predawn morning, Rina stirred on the bed. Her body was sated but her mind was instantly tumbling with all she had to say today. She slid from the tangled sheets and grabbed a light robe off the back of a chair in the corner of the room. Hers? Sara’s? She didn’t know anymore. She’d blurred so many lines she’d almost lost touch with who she was truly meant to be.
She went to the bathroom to relieve herself then walked silently to the kitchen, automatically measuring out coffee and water in the percolator and setting the gas burner to heat. She knew it was still ridiculously early but by the same token she couldn’t lie next to Reynard another minute with all the guilt that now racked her, body and soul.
Just inside the front door, on the table where the lamp still burned she spied her evening bag. Inside was her mobile phone. She crossed the room to get it. Now that she’d made her decision, she had to get off her chest what she’d done. Was it too ridiculously early to call Sara?
She flicked a glance at the wall clock in the kitchen. 6:00 a.m. Probably too early but she had to shed this burden before it crushed her, and that started with Sara.
As she slid the BlackBerry from its little pouch inside the evening bag, she noticed she had three missed calls already. She’d put the phone on silent mode last night before going out and in the excitement when they’d returned to the cottage, she’d forgotten to change the setting. On checking the log she noted two were last night and one already this morning. All were from Sara.