There was so much in there. All of it was filled to the brim with love and longing. Our walls were finally falling down. Even in the past, Theo had never let me look through his mother’s diary.
I had to tell him about Newt.
“How did you find me?” I whispered.
That brought his attention to me, our eyes locking. “I’ll always find you, Abigail. Remember that next time you spend the energy falling out a window. I used to be the one catching you.”
Though his words made my heart leap, I pulled away. “That doesn’t answer my question.” The longer the silence pressed, the deeper my gut sank. I took a step back, night air and Spanish stars between us.
“How, Theo?” I pressed.
He worked his jaw. “Your key chain has a tracker in it.”
My heart dropped. “I’m such a fool.”
“No, Abigail—”
“I thought this gift meant something.” I tore the key chain from my bra. “I thought you cared about me. You told me to trust you. To stop telling lies.”
I’d been played the fool… again.
“Why can’t it be both?” Anger usurped his breath and he gripped my shoulders, dragging me to him, eyes blazing. “It’s because I care about you. Fuck, can’t you see that? Am I supposed to just sit around and hope nothing happens to you?”
“You could have told me. Why did you lie?”
He dropped me, and whatever remorse I’d seen vanished. “Following your lead, Abs. I know there’s something you aren’t telling me.”
Guilt swamped me. I knew I should tell him about Ned. Maybe I should’ve told him about him the day I realized we’d gone to school together, but there was still so much shit between us.
And now there was even more.
So I deflected. “You didn’t use this to save me. You used it because you trapped me in a room and didn’t like that I climbed out.” I chucked the pretty key chain into the open sea.
It hurt.
It hurt so much.
Theo watched the glimmering gold disappear into the black waters before turning back to me. “What happens if I can’t be there for you?”
“I guess we’ll have to do it the old-fashioned way. With trust.”
“Abigail.”
My mom’s voice was lik
e a damn Taser. I sprang off Theo, feeling caught despite having done nothing.
I rubbed my dark hair. “Uh, Mom. You’re up late.”
An agonizing silence followed my brilliant observation. Then she turned away, walking toward her bedroom. For a second I had hope she’d leave it at that.
“Are you coming?” she asked, impatience thin, feathery, and sharp.
Into her room? At two in the morning? Anxiety crawled like ants under my skin, but I followed. I could feel Theo watching after me.
A single lamp lit up the sitting room inside her wing. She sat on the antique love seat beside it. I could tell she’d been awake for some time, because her makeup was on, her curls were done, and, though she was in pajamas, they were the kind meant to be seen in.
I took a shaky seat across from her when my eyes landed on the items on the table between us. Photos and notes of me—of me? I looked more clearly. They were the ones Newt had sent. The only place they could have come from was my box.